Ryan Hawkins

I do the numbers. Someone told me to have a more engaging bio so here it is

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

Tell your kids there’s alcohol in the Papa John’s garlic tipping sauce so you don’t have to share with them

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

People are always comparing La Porte, Indiana to Kiev, Ukraine

[Today In History @historigins]

North American climate zones compared with their Eurasian equivalents

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

Local weatherman acts like he’s too famous to go out in public on the eve of a giant snowstorm.

And he’s 100% correct. This is his Super Bowl, and he’s the goddamn halftime show

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

“East Chicago, Indiana Bears” has a nice ring to it. Rolls right off the tongue

[Yahoo Sports @YahooSports]

The Bears are exploring changing their stadium plans, including moving the team and building in Northwest Indiana, president and CEO Kevin Warren wrote in a letter to fans.

The franchise has been in Chicago for more than 100 years, after moving to the city in 1921 from Decatur, Illinois.

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

When I say America is the greatest country of all time, this is exactly what I’m talking about

[Fanatics Collect @Collect]

Only five Sopranos “Tonygotchis” were ever made… then they vanished 👀

An independent toy maker released a tiny virtual Tony Soprano pet in early 2024 - you could feed him gabagool and even send him to therapy.

The ultra-limited run disappeared instantly, becoming one of the rarest Sopranos collectibles on earth.

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

It took me way too long to realize windmills actually had a purpose and weren’t just big Mercedes Benz spinning advertisements

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

Much like the “_ for dummies” book series, I’m working on a new series “_ for the dumbest person you’ve ever met… and yes, that includes people who think Pepsi is better than Coke”

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

.@cordes_tax

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

If you need to microwave something for one minute and thirty seconds, how are you entering it into the microwave?

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

@cordes_tax

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

If you need to microwave something for one minute and thirty seconds, how are you entering it into the microwave?

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

“You run a doctor’s office and ask people to be there 15 minutes early?”

“Yes, Dave”

“You do this so you can see patients timely, correct?”

“That’s correct”

“If I have a 7:30 appointment, and I arrive at 7:15, what time will I see the doctor?”

“Probably around 8:15, Dave”

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

Wrigley has Freddy in a blender!

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

I’m glad to see everyone is so excited about the Blackhawks preseason starting next week with all this Chicago ICE talk

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

@FortWayneCPA $14 x 2 sandwiches + $3 coffee = $31 x 1.15 = $35.65 total

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

@cordes_tax @midwestern_ope D. All of the above (and candy bowl on Halloween)

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

@Sabanewsss It was a fun practice to watch. Rublev worked out with Aryna for about 15-20 minutes before she moved onto a new hitting partner

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

@shelmuth85 Sadly, they are in the weakest division and will still finish 3rd or 4th

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

Colts in the top 30 🔥 Let’s go!!!

[Dov Kleiman @NFL_DovKleiman]

Fox released their 2025 NFL Power Rankings:

Thoughts? 🤔

[Ryan Hawkins @rhawk_]

Wife: Aww you got an Apple Watch. You can set your watch face as…
Me: …yup Tony Soprano with a needler from Halo 🫡