Riley Laster

registered dietitian•intuitive eater•basketball lover

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

Llama llama needs a Xanax

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

Nutrition influencers will be like “check out this new awesome original healthy recipe” and it’s just a piece of cheese inside half a bell pepper with Trader Joe’s seasoning on it

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

Dallas Cowboys scout Chris Vaughn was emotional Saturday when he got to call his son, K-State RB Deuce Vaughn, and tell him the team drafted him 🤍💙

Too wholesome.

(via @dallascowboys)

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

The chances I’ll be scammed this week trying to purchase Taylor Swift tickets? 130%

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

Please. I beg of you… stop making me fall back only to have me spring forward. It’s not good for my mentals.

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

Sorry I have to go…my Haakaa needs to be emptied and I’m fresh out of windi gaspassers and I have to put a new filter in the nosefrida and I can’t find the shusher and I need to refill the brezza. Thanks for understanding.

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

Jimmy showed love to Pau on his retirement night 🙏

(via @NBA)

[luɥ ɟo oǝɔ @011scenes]

the first trailer for stranger things s3 was such a cinematic masterpiece omg

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

Marriage is so fun bc I just explained the Selena Gomez/Hailey Beiber drama and my husband responded by telling me how rainy and windy it’s going to be tomorrow 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

My husband wanted to spice things up so I got a different brand of frozen lasagna for dinner tonight

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

Llama llama red pajama
Mama needs a vacay to the Bahamas

[luɥ ɟo oǝɔ @011scenes]

watching stranger things on an 80s tv is my ultimate life goal btw

[Abby Norman @abbynormansays]

My husband gives people the thumbs down instead of flicking them off from the car. He reports that the thumbs down makes people even more mad.

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

Watching Bluey and not to get political but…I can’t stand Muffin

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

@OneHungryBunny_ It would have been the enthusiasm with which 33 year old uses it that really would have done it for 16 year old me

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

16 year old me would walk directly into the ocean if she saw 33 year old me using the nosefrida

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

@BabyBloomNutrit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[stranger writers @strangerwriters]

🤯

[Riley Laster @riley_laster]

Parenting is a breeze…..
Sleep when baby sleeps
Eat when baby eats
Cry when baby cries
Do laundry when baby does laundry
Wash dishes when baby washes dishes
Vacuum when baby vacuums