rylam

[rylam @riluhn]

nothing gets white people fired up quite like when the summoning salt music kicks in and him going “and then….. this happened”

[rylam @riluhn]

this is how it feels when everyone at the function is drinking and you gather up the weed enjoyers to go smoke a joint outside

[rylam @riluhn]

slowing the video down to put emphasis on whatever word you’re saying is gen z’s “millennial zoom”

[rylam @riluhn]

corndogs underrated and not talked about enough

[rylam @riluhn]

cigarettes are kinda mid but the social and conversational value of them is almost a better draw than the actual smoking experience which makes them actually have a decent amount of value

[rylam @riluhn]

@brzezy i didn’t mean it like that I’m sorry thje 😔

[rylam @riluhn]

if gaethje manages to beat illia i think I’ll actually do a backflip on the spot

[rylam @riluhn]

thinkin about how hank wants to hang out in the bathroom while I poop and it’s probably because i go hang out outside while he poops which is his bathroom so he probably thinks that’s what we’re supposed to do and now i feel bad for closing the door on him to go poop

[rylam @riluhn]

i love when i pre order a spiderman action figure and it says it will arrive in april and we’re closing on halfway through may and everyone else has already gotten theirs AND they’re saying it’s the biggest piece of dog shit they’ve ever bought

[rylam @riluhn]

@brzezy this is so real

[rylam @riluhn]

ear is squirting this is not ideal

[rylam @riluhn]

@brzezy

[rylam @riluhn]

new function idea, everyone gets drunk and i play super mario bros wii on the couch while trying to convince anyone who walks by to play with me

[rylam @riluhn]

@brzezy wanna get drunk and play wii this weekend?

[rylam @riluhn]

@brzezy woah

[rylam @riluhn]

update, hootie and the blowfish is also allowed

[rylam @riluhn]

sick and tired of bands with the name format of “persons name” and the _____’s.
siouxsie and the banshee’s is the only exception and everyone else sucks

[rylam @riluhn]

first piss of the morning shot straight down, bounced off the front of the toilet and hit my knees, if this is some sort of sign from the universe then I’m about to have a week of bad luck and curses

[rylam @riluhn]

Mt rushmore is so fucking ugly I’m gonna go deface it like naruto did to the hokage mountain

[rylam @riluhn]

co worker wearing a rick and morty shirt that says to dial “1-800-get-schwifty”

[rylam @riluhn]

UFC youtube perhaps has to be some of the worst examples of clickbait you’ll ever see in your entire life, those mfs are literally just LYING, not embellishing, or using hyperbole, just making shit up out of thin air for clicks