Rinovska

Russian American comedian

[Rinovska @rinovska]

Wearing a swimsuit to work today. Not like I went swimming, just a laundry day.

[Rinovska @rinovska]

Finally took a Christmas Tree Down!
After a little struggle I was able to get it into an arm lock until it passed out.

[Rinovska @rinovska]

@ComeInsideUS Larz used to be Katz competitor across the street. They never made it. The prices were too high and pastrami was never as fresh as at Katz.

[Rinovska @rinovska]

@ComeInsideUS @Dictionarycom @MerriamWebster @urbandictionary It’s a Dodo bird glitch in Harry Potter game.

[Rinovska @rinovska]

Me: I’ll leave early to get there on time.

NYC Subway: The f*ck you will.

[Rinovska @rinovska]

@floodums @picklyandy87 @ComeInsideUS @AlisonGrillo @dcurtis10 @TanQboy @Jessicakibel @musings_idiot @Goldberg_Comic @puff_step_daddy @bobjcomedy @timfanchercomic @MinarchoCoffee Hallo, I is everywhere!!! 🤓

[Steve Cohen Standup @stevecohenfun]

So this is gonna be a thing

[Rinovska @rinovska]

@Monkeyinheaven @GVComedyClubNYC FAKE NEWS! Total scam!!!

[Rinovska @rinovska]

@Monkeyinheaven @GVComedyClubNYC This is not a thing. FAKE NEWS!!!

[Rinovska @rinovska]

@TheJimmyMurray @Monkeyinheaven Now we’re talking! 🤪👏

[Rinovska @rinovska]

Cheese: Simply exists and everyone is totally cool with it.
American: We are gonna put it in a can and call it Easy Cheese.

[Rinovska @rinovska]

Nobody:
Americans: Cheez Whiz is my favorite food.

[Rinovska @rinovska]

@ComeInsideUS @craigala_comedy @musings_idiot He is a bebe

[Steve Cohen Standup @stevecohenfun]

⚠️ VACCINE INJURY STORY ⚠️
I got my second moderna dose yesterday and today my pp is bigger & handsomer. Please share this with everyone who is sexy.
⚠️ VACCINE INJURY STORY ⚠️

[Rinovska @rinovska]

Application questions for my upstairs neighbors:

1. Do you host river dance practices at home?
2. Are you not satisfied with you furniture layout and like to spice things up at night?
3. Do you wear clogs as slippers?

[Rinovska @rinovska]

@craigala_comedy @ComeInsideUS @DoctorFuture_ @Monkeyinheaven @rabbitwhalev Molotov!

[Rinovska @rinovska]

@floodums @ComeInsideUS @craigala_comedy @rabbitwhalev @Monkeyinheaven @DoctorFuture_ I don’t hack shows: It’s not me. Fake news!

[Rinovska @rinovska]

When complimenting a woman be specific. I know I’m pretty, but did I nail my eyebrows or does my leotard fits really well?

[Rinovska @rinovska]

People describing their height.
Literally anyone but Americans: I’m 2 meters, 8 centimeters.
Americans: I’m about 6 feet, 2 hands, 3 fingers and half of a toe nail.

[Rinovska @rinovska]

Me: Mmm, margarita on the beach in Tulum sounds nice right now.

My bank account: How about this puddle and some tap water?

[Rinovska @rinovska]

How to become a millionaire.
Step one: Forget everything you know about money.
Step two: Wait...what’s a millionaire?