Thor

lesbian icon? || parody account ||

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

Lady Sif, upon FINALLY seeing me again: And then I met up with Son of Coul AGAIN under Odin’s orders...he sure kept me from staying on Asgard for too long. Anyway how are my Warriors?
Me, rubbing the back of my neck: Ah, geez uh...about that

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

me when valkyrie shows up to help defeat thanos: my girlfriends back and you’re gonna be in trouble hey la, day la

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

also, i’m in love with bruce, but you knew that

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

i’ve learned that people are “shipping” me with carol. harold, she’s a lesbian

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

the thanos snap would have worked if he’d snapped away the terrible men of planet earth

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

me @ rocket: absolutely superb you funky little rabbit

[THOR @THOR_SON_OFODIN]

NEW CAPE FOR #PRIDE MONTH! BLESSINGS OF THOR BE UPON YOU!

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

Happy pride to everyone but especially all lesbians everywhere! 💖💗❤️

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

I have found this neat little ribbon to append to my profile picture! Happy pride 💖🌈⚡️

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

Please help support pastel bi pride, add a #Twibbon now! https://t.co/i2buj9L8Hf

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

When Loki “dies” for the 14th time

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

I don’t know what yaoi is but the Teen Avengers Squad keeps joking about it

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

you have $5 to build the perfect man

$300–rich
$210–handsome
$80–funny
$5– can turn into a giant green monster with “yaoi hands”
$20–loyal
$45–tall

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

so

you said you had nothing left to lose, and then promptly lost half of your Midguardian friends and all of the new ones you just made

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

Me: Bruce sees the glass as half empty, I see it as half full. That’s why we make a good team.
Me: Valkyrie on the other hand just drinks right out of the bottle.
Me: Loki wonders why it has to be a glass.
Me: And Hulk usually breaks the glass by putting his fists on the table

[bucky @officially_buck]

you have $5 to build the perfect man

$300–rich
$210–handsome
$80–funny
$5–was turned to ash by thanos
$20–loyal
$45–tall

[steve rogers @americaguy20]

so.

you should’ve gone for the head.

[steve rogers @americaguy20]

so

no one told you life was gonna be this way

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

@unofficialshuri i studied many ancient and modern languages growing up but you three continue to prove that i have so much to learn 😂

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

Me @ the remaining avengers: Guys I have the PERFECT person to help defeat Thanos! Her name is Lady Si—
*puts fingers to earpiece* what’s that? she was one of the snap victims?
*turning back to the avengers* NEVERMIND GUYS, WE’RE FUCKED!

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

⚡️⚡️my next tweet will hint towards IW and some news that came out today so. be warned⚡️⚡️

[Thor @rip_mjolnir]

⚡️⚡️it’s been 2 weeks since IW so you might see some spoiler tweets from me going forward⚡️⚡️