Rob Gardner

Recovering London Irish. Writing & SEO.

[Rob Gardner @RobGardner87]

Get this man a coddle.

[Godspeed You Black Tamperer (ft Maya) @twlldun]

What I find genuinely funny is it’s Ireland but the Americans will never say that

[Jeremiah Johnson 🌐 @JeremiahDJohns]

After a long year, it's finally time. Announcing the Worst Tweets of 2023 Bracket!

I've spent the entire year collecting hundreds of deranged tweets, awful takes, and the most insane discourses on this site. Only 64 were chosen.

Now it's time to crown a champion.

[blkp🔻 @blkpaws]

Came across Dr. Refaat Alareer's poem "If I must die" just a few days ago, I cried and couldn't help but translated it to Chinese without his permission. Now that he's gone.

[RTÉ News @rtenews]

A rousing performance of 'Fairytale of New York' was given by Glen Hansard and Lisa O'Neill at the funeral of Shane MacGowan in Nenagh, Co Tipperary. The performance was greeted by cheers inside and outside the church | https://t.co/a1x3oRVRMz

[Rob Gardner @RobGardner87]

Ireland and its diaspora is just a teeny tiny village.

[Scarlet Châppell @ScarletChappell]

Was talking to a guy on a dating app and we got talking about how both our grandparents are from Ireland!

Turns out they are both from Galway.

Turns out they both left Galway at the same time in the 50’s and moved to Clapham.

Turns out he’s actually my third cousin…

[Xaniken @Xaniken]

Honestly I understand pirates so much more when I picture getting to drunk drive one of these bad boys

[Rob Gardner @RobGardner87]

MRW I see a man with a bally on:

[Terenure College RFC @terenurerugby]

Your Terenure Matchday Squad rundown to play Shannon tomorrow 🔊💜🏉

#Terenurerugby #EnergiaAil #Clubrugby #Ail #irishrugby #topofthepops

[Rob Gardner @RobGardner87]

@Benefitstheband Delighted for you. Savage album. Absolutely loved your gig in Dublin earlier this year.

[Rob Gardner @RobGardner87]

Ray Romano is there so you’re already annoyed

[9mmSMG @9mmsmg]

Want to see the worst bad beat in poker history? Imagine sitting at the World Series of Poker main event, Ray Romano is there so you're already annoyed. You're battling with Abraham from The Walking Dead, wearing a wife beater. You go all in with quad aces and this happens. I would never play poker again. I almost played the main event last year and was considering next years, this would ruin me. This will never ever happen on film again in our lifetimes. The odds are 1 in 2.7 BILLION.

[Nick Percoco @c7five]

. . : : The Hacker's Manifesto : : . .

Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager arrested in computer crime scandal", "Hacker arrested after bank tampering"...

Damn Kids. They're all alike.

But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain ever take a look behind the eyes of a hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?

I am a hacker, enter my world...

Mine is a world that begins with school. I've listened to the teacher explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Mrs. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."

Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to do. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed up. Not because it doesn't like me...

or feels threatened by me...

or thinks I'm a smart ass...

or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...

Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.

And then it happened... A door opened to a world... Rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day to day incompetencies is sought... A board is found.

"This is it... This is where I belong..."

I know everyone here... Even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...

Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...

You bet your ass we're all alike... We've been spoon fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... The bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to
teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now... The world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... And you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... And you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, you cheat, and lie to us and try to make us
believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all...

After all, We're all alike.

+++The Mentor+++

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Jeremy Allen White says “I had a meeting for a kind of Marvel-y movie, and I had an attitude.”

“I think I played it all wrong. [I said]  ‘Tell me about why should I do your movie’. They were like, ‘Fuck you’ And I was like, ‘Right on.’”

(Source: https://t.co/rvrkL40Gw8)

[Rob Gardner @RobGardner87]

Was in a training with a group made up of people under 21 today, one other person aged 26 and me aged 36.

The icebreaker was “who is your favourite band”

I said “I like blink-182s new album” and the way they all looked at me I think I basically said “I like dad rock”.

[Conor McCabe @CMacCaba]

After a lot of textual analysis and contextual framing I'm fairly confident I've discovered three lost short stories from James Connolly. Typing up a paper on it and will submit for peer review.

[The Blindboy Podcast @bbboatclub]

This Ad for Murphys stout is possibly my fave Irish advert ever. I had it on my hard drive from years ago an found it there

[Rob Gardner @RobGardner87]

@ShaneDanByrne @edfringe @Gildedballoon @DuaneDoogan @garybgary “Very good jokes” if you need another quote for the poster x

[Sophie Grenham @sophiegrenham]

Irish people! Would you like a show that'll make you happy? The RTÉ player has all of Bachelor's Walk, that great show about flatmates in Dublin. The series started in 2001 and it's a super snapshot of the city at the time. I love it to death.

[Dr. Samantha Hancox-Li @perdricof]

the hamburger is the most paradoxical food, and thus the one that most perfectly embodies american capitalism

we must explore the semiotics of this food that is at once always everyday workingman and stupendous luxury if we wish to understand ourselves

unironically, a thread: