Robobachel

I do it for the memories & LOLs

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Mom: Do you have *any* idea what it’s like to be around you?
Me: I’d assume it’s similar to being around you.

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Alexa, what’s the baseball score?

[Robobachel @robobachel]

I told my mom that I’m taking things slow with the guy I’m dating and she goes, “well that’s good because you usually jump right into bed with people!” 💀

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Note to self: I love my life.

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Why is everywhere that has my email address updating their terms and conditions right now?

[Robobachel @robobachel]

There’s no feeling like singing along to a song with girlfriends in the car, windows down, summer time.

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Driving back from the dog beach and some boys in their 20s walked in front of our car in traffic and my mom goes, "Yes, you have big cocks and are very smart."

[Robobachel @robobachel]

“My greatest interest has always been myself.”

[Robobachel @robobachel]

I maintain it’s unfair I didn’t get the hyperactive type of ADHD but instead got the I need meth to function type of ADHD

[Robobachel @robobachel]

My mom recently asked me if I’d like to get professional photos taken for my dating profiles and it’s just the most sweet and sad offer.

[Robobachel @robobachel]

It’s also pretending to go to the bathroom on a date and telling your waitress, “please make this end.”

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Womanhood is stopping another woman on the street and asking if your makeup is well blended and then her getting excited that you even asked.

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Being a therapist is wild because one minute you’re role playing a sassy confrontation and the next you’re supporting someone through a panic attack.

[Robobachel @robobachel]

“The trauma you gave me” would be a neat title for a family presentation

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Everyone deserves positive self talk narratives. Including, “I will not poop my pants. I will not poop my pants.”

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Not to brag or anything but I made my first and last shots in corn hole even though my team lost.

[Robobachel @robobachel]

As someone approaching their mid 30s, I wish we could collectively agree as a society that 10pm is peak “going out” time

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Me: if I’m not having panic attacks, how do I know I’m really living?
My psychiatrist: what?

[Robobachel @robobachel]

Had to pull over on the highway and use an epipen for the first time. Ofc that’s how it would go for me 🙄

[Robobachel @robobachel]

@HowtoADHD Squirt bottle for mouth wash!

[Robobachel @robobachel]

It never ceases to amaze and honor me that acquaintances will tell me about their therapy sessions.