Shit Roommates Say

Those random things your roommates say? Let us know!

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

@YCPProblems https://t.co/qqGCTI7X91

[Sarah @shurley_4]

Level of done with this semester = 7 year old Jake planting himself in the garden

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"Wanna know how I got these scars? I fell down the stairs fetching a midnight snack"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"I pay attention to people in my classes just in case if one of them is a mass murderer or serial killer." #shitroommatessay @YCPProblems

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"There are better fish to fuck in the sea"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"Oh my gosh I love Domino's, so much flavoring on the breast!"
Yea?
"I combined bread and crust..."

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"Just come be gay with me!"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"He's already put the collar on. PULL THE FUCKING LEASH"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"This is my dream come true! I've been wanting to carry that crock pot since I've laid eyes on it!"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"My school had a pencil dispencil" A dispenser?

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"Nobody wants a mandarin orange for president"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"Literally nobody wants woken up in the middle of the night by a screaming shit machine"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"Counters fuck me up. I am a SLUT for counters"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"Don't make me use my teacher voice. Get in the box of shame!"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"Twitter was just a bunch of chicks from high school like OHMIGOD THIS and OHMIGOD that. Don't care,whatever,delete. They luged in my food."

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"It doesn't matter. Radiator dick. F1 HARAMBE"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"Poor Jose won't cancel our order so he's about to deliver a pizza at 11 am tomorrow"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"The technical name is shaft, not penis."
'THE DINGLE DANGLE'

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"My titty came out in class today"

[Shit Roommates Say @roomatetalks]

"Your face, why you gotta be like that?"
'I'm like Robert de Niro'