RoommateDiaries

Roommates = co-inhabiters of life interactions. Love them. Hate them. Utilize the crazy for dinner parties/Twitter.

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

Roommates who never speak to me and do not celebrate Christmas suggested a group Christmas celebration. Why would I waste any of my special holiday time with people who hate me? You feeling ok bro? #thanksbutno #roommateprobs #youmakenosense #Christmas2020

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

Exiting roommate is leaving in 2 days! #happydance She didn’t even tell me. Not upset about it! 🎉🙌🏼���🏻🥰🧐 #RoommateOut #WheresTheBubbly 🍾#RoommateJoys

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

#QuarantineLife and being unemployed doing nothing all week is apparently exhausting and does NOT allow a single 10am apt showing. “I can’t guarantee I will be awake then, I need that time to relax.” #wtf 3 months not enough? It’s one day?! Whatever rescheduled your majesty.

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

#workroommate identifies herself in every email to me. Girl, we interact at work frequently, your name is in your email address, AND the company labels your name automatically because we are #workroommates #SmallOffice #IKnowYourName Wait, who are you again?

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

Hey #workroommate remote conferences have been happening for some time now. Putting the call on hold or not muting your line is still unacceptable. #WeAllHearYou #GetItTogether

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

Are my #roommate expectations too high? Do not insert yourself in the room where established conversation is occurring while on your phone. AND don’t talk on speakerphone in public space of the apt. #AptHearsAll #InconsiderateAndRude #QuarantinaIsGettingToMe #SpeakerphoneIsWorse

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

How does a #roommate find it acceptable to listen to work conference calls on speaker when living with other people? Better yet, at all hours of the day like 6AM. #headphones #WTF #AtTheMeetingAgainstMyWill

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

Hey #worldroommate anti-quarantine protesters, we’ve seen your scene before. #BeautyAndTheBeast mob song. Ignorant villagers march to their defeat led by their arrogant leader, Gaston *cough* #Trump, who doesn’t understand anything?

[Bryan Behar @bryanbehar]

There have been and will always be Americans on the wrong side of history. But taking to the streets with guns because you’re not allowed to infect your fellow citizens with a deadly virus is a new kind of crazy.

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

#roommate is tone deaf and constantly humming going about her business cooking or walking through out the apt. Yes it is painful. #RoommateLife

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

#roommate walks out of room, comments disgust of observed fly. Upon room return, vocalizes hopes for it not to go into her room. Well, dead flies won’t go into your room if you’re curious. #YouCouldKillIt #RoommateProbs

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

#roommate’s anxiety is through the roof. The non COVID19 symptoms are never ending and sound like your Dr’s call of stress and anxiety. But you deny that. There’s no crisis happening. You’re not stressed. #GoingToMyRoom #QuarantineLife #NotComingOut

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

@fortheexpgaming I am the problem. Don’t know how I’m not bald either. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

Roommate gets chip cravings frequently and helps herself to my stash and tells me she will pay me back. I don’t care honestly, but if chips are that important to you, why do you consistently run out? #PrioritizeYourNeeds #RoommateWonders #HappenedBeforeCOVID19 #roommateprobs

[Jimmy Fallon @jimmyfallon]

#QuarantineRemix with @jtimberlake!

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

@TheSingle_Betch @patagonia @Singlebetch I want these snuggles!!!

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

Coworker aka #workroommate is singing a triumphant tune of “kill the virus, kill the virus, kill the virus!” 😂 #GetThatVirus #COVID19Pandemic

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

Sent in request for roommate to stop the constant door slamming. Reply: “I am not slamming doors. You’re assuming things.” 🤬😱 #WTF #YoureFuckingSlammingDoors #MyEarsDontAssumeShit #ThisRoommateSucks #2MonthsTooLong Yes. You are. Please stop. Thanks.

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

I deliberately slammed my door today curious of the results. Door slamming roommate has toned down her door assaults! #ImConfused Did I unknowingly use some reverse psychology on you? #ThisRoommateSucks #2MoreMonths #RoommateProbs

[RoommateDiaries @RoommateLegends]

@HannahLebovits Bring it. I’m ready 😂