Steph and Dani

Just two soulmates living together and giving you the happiness we give each other. ❣️

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

I just entered to win an awesome prize! https://t.co/j4lQREhQ1F

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

S: I feel like a lesbian
D: You look like a lesbian
S: And that's ok, wanna know why?
D: Why?
S: Cause lesbians are people, too

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

S:I almost put a match in my coffee... I need coffee...
D: *dies laughing*

#bestfriends #bestfriends5ever #roommates #roommates5ever #5isgreaterthan4

[Wicca Teachings @Wiccateachings]

A rare Full Super Crow Moon in Libra on the Spring Equinox is coming on March 20th. A major shift of energy is on the way. #SpringEquinoxSuperFullMoon

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

Me: Alexa, play my spotify
S: Alexa, do you know how yo f*ck off
Alexa: I'd rather not answer that

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

S: That's not a cross, that's a mast
D: And, those aren't curtains, that's a sail.

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

Impromptu date night lands us at Texas de Brazil. First timers! And we haven't been surrounded by this much meat since the Magic Mike show!!! #GiveUsTheMeat

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

Us getting groceries before the storm, sees truck with Trump stickers.
D: I see 3 reasons why you should hit that car
*German Shepherd pops his head out of the window.*
D: Annnnnd one big reason why you shouldn't

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

Who needs to actually go off road with an off roading vehicle when you can just drive around downtown Binghamton?

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

D: take the burgers-...
S: they're too frozen to pull apart...
D:.... And put them in the microwave just enough to get them apart.
S:

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

S: I got yogurt!
D: We had it....
S:yeah. Cumshot yogurt
D: nothing is better than Greek yogurt
S: men would agree cumshot is great.

#yogurt #cumshot #greekyogurt #nothanks #funny #besties

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

D: We need to get you yogurt or probiotics
S: *scans dairy section* Does French onion dip count?

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

Overheard at local CVS.
"No one is going to be upset with a Taco Bell gift card, dude."
Both of us turn around.
"NO, THEY WILL NOT!"
Who doesn't like Taco Bell!?
#ChristmasGifts #TacoBell #WhoDoesntLoveTacoBell #IdLoveATacoBellGiftCard

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

S: *from shower at the other end of the house* IF YOU CAN GET ON SPOTIFY AND SKIP THIS SONG, THAT'D BE GREAT
D: *on opposite side of the house* *gets on spotify and changes the song*
S: *laughing* THANK YOU

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

S: My thigh is numb from sitting on the floor *starts slapping thigh*
D: Let me help *slaps thigh*
S: Lower, lower, lower. LESS SLAPPY, MORE TAPPY!

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

D: *show S a picture of herself*
S: awe.... Why can't I be cute like that!
D:...... YOU are cute like that.....

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

S: go look in the freezer
D: *opens freezer* 😲 YOU GOT ME CHICKEN FRIES
*HUGS*
S: Yes, I did. *whispers* even tho they're exactly like nuggs
D: NO, THEY'RE NOT!!!
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

S: *getting food from the fridge. It starts making a strange sound*. It's okay, buddy. You got this. *While patting it on the side.
D: I love how supportive you are. Of the fridge.

#truelove #truesupport #foodies #funny #roommates #roommies #follow #whatsfunny #us #getwithit

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

S: True love is knowing what your soulmate wants the trash can to smell like 😍😂😂

[Steph and Dani @roommates5ever]

(Talking about the animals)
We have a 30% inbred rating