Armand de Brignac

I like my champagne expensive.

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

Jessie J says she’s delighted to announce she has recruited Jess Glynne and Jesy Nelson to help her run her newly reopened Hertfordshire abattoir.

“Updated slaughter targets will be issued shortly,” she told reporters

[Gillian Branstetter @GBBranstetter]

It's been a privilege bumpin that with you tonight

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 NEW: There have been no reports of riots tonight as thousands of anti-racist protesters significantly outnumber anti-immigration demonstrators across the country

[jono 🦋 @jonomxr]

@iDarkPro0 well it’s not a tortured poets summer is it

[Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris]

I’m Kamala Harris, and I’m running for President of the United States.

[Andrew Lawrence @ndrew_lawrence]

pride month update: wyoming has fallen

[JB 🐻✨🍉 @JBfromDC89]

happy pride!

[Daniel 🧮 @dunisayno]

I wish you well

[BIG BULLY @SamBanksss]

So grateful I’m fab and could never idolize such an unfab person…i feel sorry for the lot of you that identify with her and idolize her like you don’t love yourselves enough

[TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) @TechnicallyRon]

I took 1 star reviews of #Barbie from furious men on letterboxd and put them on the posters because it makes the film seem ever cooler.

[Politics For You @PoliticoForYou]

BREAKING 🚨🚨🚨

Swarms of unwashed Immigrants fail to integrate with the local population and instead force their backwards culture on the natives.

[knx @knoxdotmp3]

idk i think she needs to be worshipped

[Thicc Van Dyke @Scoundrelicious]

Tina's lost her tan
Jon should get onlyfans
Paul's looking quite mature
While Hannah's become obscure (ooh hoo!)
Wanna know Bradley’s kink
Wonder if Rachel calls in sick
Then we got Jo, she was racist on that show

[NBA @Gio45ive]

I’ve seen crackheads in Camden Town do this for a pound

[Jeremiah moriarty @horse_updates]

the shot of adele leaving skjzsjhx

[Ashley K. @AshleyKSmalls]

Saying “this doesn’t happen to people like me very often” when a Black woman hasn't won that award since 1999 is crazy lol

[Mark Humphries @markhumphries]

THE MEGHAN MARKLE HELPLINE: Got a ridiculous opinion about her? We’ll endure it so others don’t have to.