royela

Bal·ti·more·an \ ˈbȯl-tə-ˌmȯr , -mər-ˈrē-ən \ a native or inhabitant of Baltimore of Korean heritage

[royela @royela]

@wkamaubell @JDVance I logged in to twitter after like 4 yrs just to like & share this + previous b/c I IRL LOLed reading this on @KeeperPat's phone

[W. Kamau Bell @wkamaubell]

I know I’m a weird messenger to be giving advice, but I truly mean this to be helpful, @JDVance.

Fire your whole team. They clearly hate you. This is TV production 101, and they failed it.

1) Someone is supposed to scout ahead and make sure everyone there is interested in being on camera AND excited to talk to you. And if your team finds out that no one at the place is interested in talking to you and some don’t even want to be on camera with you - situations that I’m sure you are used to by now - then your team needs to find another establishment.

2) Someone is supposed to prep you with names and talking points. This is especially true because, as you know, you are horrible at small talk. Your team must even know this by now. Your team has to give you follow up questions so you are ready to go. “What is your bestselling donut?” “What’s your favorite?” “What do you recommend?” “What’s your favorite part of your job?” “Do you eat too many donuts because you work here.” This is simple stuff. But again, I get that it is extremely hard for you to speak to humans. That’s why you need a better team.

3) in lieu of small talk, which I would recommend you skipping because you are - again - HORRIBLE at it, your team should have given you a pre decided order so you were ready for the “difficult task” of ordering donuts. Here are a few suggestions for next time. “I’ll take a dozen glazed.” “Just give me a dozen of your bestsellers.” “JUST FILL THE BOX WITH SPRINKLES THAT YOU SCRAP OFF OF SPRINKLE DONUTS, AAAAAARGH!!!”

That last one was a trick. If you believed it then you need more help than I even imagined.

The good news is I’ll happily take you on as a client to teach you how to appear more human, all for the price of one jabilliondee dollar bucks. Currently, there is a 1% discount. But I need your answer by… more

[Derek Rae @RaeComm]

Imagine beating Portugal in such dramatic fashion & then having to wait 10 minutes on the pitch to find out if it was enough. Pure tension. My view of the on pitch Korean celebration. Love how it builds to a crescendo.
#KoreaRepublic

[royela @royela]

Uh. @CondorCares? flight delayed due to... wait for it... "someone on the previous flight stole all the exit signs." What in the Thomas Crown Affair? How does that happen unnoticed for every exit sign? #whatishappening

[royela @royela]

Single lane closures M-F through late spring 2024? To resurface 0.5mi of 4 lanes? Is this a typo @jwaldstreicher? This letter dated 6/29/22 mentions a closure from the Spring in future tense so I'm hoping this is poor editing...

[Stacey Abrams @staceyabrams]

Seven years ago, SCOTUS rightly affirmed the right to marriage for same-sex couples.

But SCOTUS just denied constitutional privacy, which undergirds legal equality for the LGBTQ+ community.

Women, LGBTQ+, POC — our rights are bound together and we must protect them. Together.

[Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen]

Sarah Huckabee Sanders after her gubernatorial primary win: "We will make sure that when a kid is in the womb, they're as safe as they are in a classroom."

Um.

[royela @royela]

🙋🏻‍♀️ pregnancy is hard. Mentally and physically. Even when the pregnancy is to carry the life of a child you desperately want, it's hard. Can't imagine making this choice for anyone but myself.

[Leah Konen @LeahKonen]

Raise your hand if pregnancy made you even more radically pro choice.

[royela @royela]

Sorry to miss you @dsantat! Speedy recovery to your fam.

[royela @royela]

@MollerMichele @dsantat Great idea, @mollermichele. After Silver Spring, please swing down the road to Chevy Chase!

[royela @royela]

@dsantat Same thing will happen if you leave them in a hot car apparently! Something about the extruded foam used to make these style of slides by Nike & Adidas

[Reuters @Reuters]

Taylor Swift receives an honorary doctorate from New York University, and addresses graduates of the Class of 2022.

#TaylorSwift #NYU #Reuters #Live https://t.co/vlTDnozclq

[Padma Lakshmi @PadmaLakshmi]

Questions for the people who are scared of becoming a minority: Why is that? Are minorities treated differently?

[royela @royela]

The one time I take my daughter for a walk in rather than an appt at @haircuttery... lesson learned.

[royela @royela]

What is happening.

[The U.S. Capitol Police @CapitolPolice]

We have received several reports of aggressive fox encounters on or near the grounds of the U.S. Capitol.

For your safety, please do not approach any foxes.

Animal Control Officers are working to trap and relocate any foxes they find.

[royela @royela]

Oh man, I've missed @theACC

[royela @royela]

@courtneyflaggg No thank you

[royela @royela]

@thefootballgirl Those misses are going to haunt them

[royela @royela]

@stagge_hydro the internet in its abundance of random non-sequitur goodness wishes you a good day today. 🤪

[royela @royela]

Best part of subscribing to @corrigankelly's podcast is hitting play knowing it'll be an interesting even if I didn't know I wanted to wonder & know more about it. Latest episode features @Atul_Gawande so can't wait to share with @KeeperPat! & you too! https://t.co/UsGn66qpWV