Rebecca Stoebe

Making pads. Hugging cats.

[Dan McQuade @dhm]

Today marks five years since the Phillie Phanatic hit his mother in the face with a pitch.

[Rebecca Stoebe @rstoebe]

@DukeEnergy 2/2 hoping you guys can connect me with someone who can actually explain to me what happened

[Rebecca Stoebe @rstoebe]

@DukeEnergy 1/2 my account has been showing a 0 balance for 10 months and I've repeatedly called and asked if there was a mistake. Now you guys sent me a 2k bill. I can't get anyone on the phone who can give me any help with this other than "we can put you on an installment plan"

[Rebecca Stoebe @rstoebe]

Aaaaand Trump statements are just actual @TheOnion headlines now.

[Rebecca Stoebe @rstoebe]

Burn it down.

[Imani Gandy is at BlueSky Now @AngryBlackLady]

Watch Professor Khiara Bridges HANDLE Josh Hawley.

✅Laughing at his attempts to seem reasonable and to denigrate her.
✅Dismissing his insincere attempts to deny trans people’s existence
✅Calling his line of questioning about “what is a woman” transphobic.

Masterful.

[Imani Gandy is at BlueSky Now @AngryBlackLady]

Watch Professor Khiara Bridges HANDLE Josh Hawley.

✅Laughing at his attempts to seem reasonable and to denigrate her.
✅Dismissing his insincere attempts to deny trans people’s existence
✅Calling his line of questioning about “what is a woman” transphobic.

Masterful.

[Frank Lesser @sadmonsters]

Supreme Court Justices have proven they’re “supreme” in the same way as a Taco Bell Burrito Supreme: they’re easy to buy and bad for your health

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

The dude who cried about beer on TV has made a BIG decision about your life, ladies!

[Rebecca Stoebe @rstoebe]

#Survey: what's the longest amount of time you've been (traveling) in #Chicago before someone mentions #Jewel - I think my current record is 2 hours.

[Rebecca Stoebe @rstoebe]

@senrobportman 90% of your constituents support universal background checks. You've received over 3 MILLION dollars in donations from the NRA. You've voted AGAINST common sense gun legislation 6 times in the last 9 years.

Stop lying. You clearly don't give a shit.

[Justice Democrats @justicedems]

Spare us.

[Rebecca Stoebe @rstoebe]

My love language is @krlatham34 wading through the Twitter hellscape to fill my DMs with things that make me smile while I'm at work #truelove

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

Punch your hunger in the face, will smith style, at Arby’s.

Continue to eat Arby’s

[@kp_official1 on IG @kp_official_1]

The price of Gasolina is too high and when we needed him most, he vanished…

[Nick Turner @NewsyNick]

PBS is not even messing around with this counterprogramming

[Rebecca Stoebe @rstoebe]

@krlatham34 is that you?

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Wife: Did you return those phone calls?

Me: I called back 100 percent of the people I wanted to talk to.

Wife: So no one?

Me: Yes.

[Frog and Toad Bot @FrogandToadbot]

'I will be too tired. I am going back to bed.' Toad went back into the house.

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

Husband: I wonder who keeps putting the neighbor’s reindeer lawn ornaments in sexual positions.

Me: