Ruby Helyer

She/her. Content writer and graphic designer/illustrator. Part-time Brit.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

Just gunna drop my author link here if anyone ever wants to read my content writing (primarily) in creative technology: https://t.co/wQA4s6ZcqN

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

Anyone selling a You Me At Six ticket for the Bristol show on Feb 11th? Let me know. YMAS.

[J @jemiggb]

Dads will be like, “we didn’t have autism in my day” and then open up the turkey graph

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

God I literally just hate Christmas Day so much haha

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

Really just not enjoying life lately. I’ll be 31 in three months and feel like I haven’t progressed any further than when I was 16. Failure in all directions and poor as absolute fucking shit.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

Holy fuck seeing photos of the tornado damage in Clarksville is heartbreaking. We had a bad storm living there years ago that saw a tree land on our roof and no electricity for 3 days. Today looks so, so much worse (and near where our house was too)

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

It’s only the third day of Colorado snow and I’ve already slipped on the ice sheet outside the front door and landed right on my back (while carrying the Japanese takeaway).

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

It’s 4am and I just woke up to the sound of (luckily, faint) gunshot pops. Four and then three. Denver has a lot of shootings but we don’t even live anywhere near downtown. America is fab.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

The only good thing about having a mouse infestation is I’ve learned the Punjabi words for mouse and rat.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

@wyllawel Literally watching iZombie right now and seeing this utterly shocked me.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

This was birthday cake Prabh bought for his mom yesterday and we put the cake box in our fridge. Heard SIL come into our kitchen earlier and open the fridge. This is what she did. There’s like one untouched slice left which is obviously for MIL. 😤

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

Nothing has pissed me off more than going to the cake box for a slice, only to find that SIL took two slices, ate the icing off one and the top half off another then PUT THEM BACK IN THE CAKE BOX. Literally fucking annoying and gross. This family is unhinged.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

Joke to be us that we only realised at 4:45pm that the time change happened today. Welp.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

I can smell burning... either someone burnt the chai or the wood burner's exploded.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

I suspect she has ADHD, and listening to her narrate her bathroom routine (“pee, brush my teeth” in singsong, broken down into the steps of brushing) is the only time I’ve seen her follow through with a more complex task without forgetting. She should do this more often.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

The most hilarious thing about my 6YO niece narrating her bathroom experience is the fact she’s using a fake Indian accent while doing so (her family are Indian and often speak Punjabi but also for fun in the fake Indian accent speaking English)

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

Watching my boyfriend help his 6YO niece with her maths homework is bringing back bad memories of my parents trying. To help me haha.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

My mum just found our poor sweet cat dead and flat on our road. She was already so old and had been through so much the last two years (she was my aunt’s cat, who died last year and we adopted the cat) and this is how she meets her end. Poor Daisy.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

I just tried to kiss my dog and she gave me a headbutt in the lip. Now I have a bruised lip. It's usually the pit bull that headbutts for affection. I am both shocked and surprised.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

If anyone’s looking for a content writer in the creative industries, let me know.

[Ruby Helyer @rubyhelyer]

Yesterday I met a wallaby called Marshmallow. We went to the “aquarium” but they had a lot of non-aquatic animals. It was the best day of my life, I think.