Offensive Seinfeld

Parody

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

@peta Did you hear about Donald Trump's aggressive and abusive handling of feline house pets?

DISGUSTING!

#StopAnimalAbuse

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

When people ask if the carpet matches the drapes, I say it’s all hardwood, baby. Or maybe laminate? I’ll put you in touch with my designer.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

I��m at the age where all my tweets start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.

[Erin Lyon @WritingLyon]

Why do people waste good hate on each other when Kanye is still alive?

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

I have a big bag of chips but when I went to the fridge, no dip. I get it Ethiopia, I get it

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

What's the deal with people complaining about their blood-sugar? It's called diabetes not cry-abetes. Who ARE these people?

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

All this talk about gays getting murdered is making me thirsty. Anyone want to go to the Pulse and take some shots? Who ARE these people?

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

Book Michael Richard's comedy act #CommitACrimeIn5Words

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

What's the deal with herpes? If bees are critical to the environment, why is someone trying to hurt them? Who ARE these people?

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

What's the deal with @RichardDawkins ? Can we really hate someone for understanding the properties of the universe? Who ARE these people?

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

What's the deal with #TamirRice ? I can murder anyone, even children, if I have a badge and work for the state? Who ARE these people?

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

What's the deal with #OneLetterOffMovies ? Is Whats Eating Gilbert Rape still an option? Who ARE these people?

[Medsworth @MustBeTheMeds]

Sprinkle my pubes all over town in case someone gets murdered there so I can be part of the investigation #RealisticResolutions @midnight

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

What's the deal with #SanBernadino ? If they hate the handicapped, couldn't they just kill GOP candidates? Who ARE these people?

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

@realjeffreyross @ComedyCentralAF @DustyRich @Bhelez @ChrisForrestSA @dillanoliphant @fortyshort @trevorgumbi all these people have AIDS now

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

What's the deal with #MyPostApocalypticPlans ? Is there going to be enough ingredients left to cook methamphetamine? Who ARE these people?

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

What's the deal with #CelebriTrees ? Does Burl Haggard know about this? Who ARE these people? @midnight

[Offensive Seinfeld @RudeSeinfeld]

What's the deal with #FamousOtherJobs ? Can someone tell Meth Rogen to make more movies/drugs for me? Who ARE these people?