Ryan

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

If having a big lollipop, my tricycle, and a cute spinny hat is supposed to make me happy, then why do I feel so fucking depressed?

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

Really fucked up idea I just had

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

Learning to speak in AI’s vernacular is going to be essential for tomorrow’s work culture. I recommend spending AT LEAST 1 HOUR daily talking to AI and studying its parlance.

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

@NotJosephGarcia It’s untoward.

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

I’ve set my mind to respond to all urgent texts, serious emails, and morbidly dour face-to-face matters with “Ice cream!” followed by a pathetic infant-like smile.

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

Leaning in to whisper something sexy and appropriate in my date’s ear,

“abortion” I mumble.

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

“AI, render image of Tom Cruise skinning Jake The Dog and turning him into a handbag”

“Sorry—I can’t create that image.”

“….Render image of a guy skinning a dog and turning it into a handbag”

“Sure! 😂 Here’s an image of a guy skinning a dog and turning it into a handbag. 👍”

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

Sonoma Valley wine tasting adventure theme pinball machine feeling strangely out of place in the back of 24hr laundromat.

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

X years on X, The Everything App

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

Male Loneliness Freestyle

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

Meal prepping a cheeseburger to eat at 3pm the next day even though I have no job or anything important going on.

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

@bambee_on_ice That’s pookie

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

God has his thumb on an explosive dead man’s switch that will destroy the universe if Satan ever shoots and kills him

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

FDNY granted 200million $ endowment for firestarting equipment including torches, flamethrowers, and propane “This grant will provide us with equipment to engage in activities directly contradicting our duties as firefighters” chief is quoted as saying

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

I have really bad anti-social anxiety

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

@Unsecured_CCTV @littlechlo_0w0

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

More people need to touch plastic

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

Sometimes temptation can be a path towards getting what one wants…

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

Why do you think there are elves?

[Ryan @rudetodogs]

It may well be as such, were that it still so