Harry Cognac Jr

Cracklin' Oat Bran Supremacy. Reincarnated sun disc god. Big ol’ horse’s ass 🌞

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

“Can we get a little weenie-shaking music? Y’know. For the fellas?”

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

My wife: I just don’t know if I can ever trust you again! You had an affair!

Me: *Tim Allen “Aaaaughhaa?” noise*

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

@AllOnDoge @elonmusk I was gonna ask if you were gay, but “Doge Trader” gave it away

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

“And this is our daughter, Bellaoffoftwilight”

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

“Selling Britussy by the Pound Me”

-The title of my Genesis fan fiction

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

People ask if I’m from Houston, I’m so chopped and screwed

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

Why, in fiction or reality, has there not been a cop-focused serial killer who calls himself the “Police Dispatcher”?

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

@jaynewe60269293 @brightmadison

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

@kevingold91 @USCPSC Before they changed it (haven’t ridden it since), the Texas Giant at Six Flags over Texas would make you feel like you’d survived multiple, consecutive car accidents in a 2-minute timespan. You’d basically get off the ride and go piss blood

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

@rabbigert @kenklippenstein Lmao Gert said party’s over

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

“No, no, no. We need to make a pee that comes out of the b-hole”

-The inventors of diarrhea

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

*Robert Smith voice*
🎵 Doing “The Stranger”
I’m jorkin dapeanus 🎶

[Got CTE from playing Peek-a-Boo @doulbedoink]

Ronald Reagan when HIV medication was introduced

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

*Talkbox voice from “California Love”*

🎶 SHIDDY BUTTCRACK GUYYY 🎵

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

@cy1nus Luffy would hate you

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

Mayor of Pee Land here. The Poo Spider is a Democrat hoax

[konnor ᯤ @konfessing]

me when im in pee land and i have to fight the poo spider

[🔟,0️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ @tenthousund]

what happens if u cumb in the piss test cup a little ahaha

[Harry Cognac Jr @rungy]

I had a vision: The year is 2027. A barely-disguised Barack Obama, under the alias of “Johnny Abortion”, announces he will run for President the following year