NO ONE TALKS ABOUT HOW DRAINING IT IS WHEN YOUR MOOD IS CONSTANTLY SWITCHING BETWEEN "KEEP GOING, IT'LL GET BETTER" AND "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE I'M ABOUT TO GIVE UP"
If you are sharing a bed, sharing bodily fluids, and planning to build a whole life and raise children with someone, the idea that your phone is a "highly classified, impenetrable vault of extreme privacy" is a massive red flag. If your partner picking up your phone to check the time or change a song causes your heart rate to spike, you are not protecting your "autonomy," you are hiding something. Period.
Tonight I had the privilege of hearing a 13 year old explain the terms "cooking" and "cooked" to my 45 year old manager and she said something so excellent I have to document it.
"cooked is bad. cooking is good. you're either in the pot or you're holding it."