Rylie Schneider

Pancreas Advocate #BLM 🏳️‍🌈 she/her

[mariana @pastapilled]

(8 months post break up) AND ANOTHER THING

[Josh Trebach, MD @jtrebach]

*me in med school*

doctor: welcome to your first shift in the ER!

me: yay

doctor: make sure you wear a lanyard that emergency releases when pulled or someone could strangle you with it!

me: wait wha—

doctor: ok let’s go see our first patient!

[Punch Cat @PunchingCat]

*unknown number has tried calling you*

[Jake Strickland 🤩✨ @jakedstrick]

Think Trump’s tariffs won’t affect you? Expect price hikes on:

•Iced tea imported from England
•Lifeguards imported from Spain
•Towels imported from Turkey
•And turkey imported from Maine

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

daily cycle

[Dew (Robotfucker) @DewEnjoyer]

Obsessed with this one baby hippo that looks fucking MORTIFIED

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

Privacy doesn’t exist in the enchanted forest I hate it here

[sebastian castillo @bartlebytaco]

the very first semester i taught i had a russian student with a thick accent who was prone to saying outlandish things that would make the other students laugh. i thought he enjoyed this but one day under his breath he said “everyone always laughing at ivan”

[mari @goodgiirlfaith]

Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift, ...declined to address that rumor. global superstar taylor Swift… and the winner is…this is the first time photographers have caught t-swift on film in SIX WEEKS…The Grammys' youngest-ever winner of Album of the Year, Fearless.

[pj @pjayevans]

It sucks you can’t google something happening in your life. What does my neighbor Derek do for work

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

don’t speak to me on october 21st I WILL be volatile and unpredictable

[ADHD Jesse @adhdjesse]

ADHD is standing in the kitchen, wondering why.

[Nardin Derias, MD @nardinderias]

“Your English is so good and you have no accent” my sister in Christ I’m from Florida

[Rylie Schneider @ry_schnides]

@AthenaHansen124 Hired