Steve

To whom much is given much is tested / Heavy is the head

[Steve @ryan_martin14]

Thrift store with my girlfriend (Balatro)

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I mentioned that my garage door was making a sound.

An American immediately said, "I got a guy."

He did not ask what the sound was. He did not ask what kind of door. He produced a guy on the basis of the word garage.

I asked who the guy was.

He said, "Just a guy."

He did not have a company name. He had a first name and a phone number in his phone saved as "Mike Garage."

That is the contact name. Mike Garage. As though Garage is his surname. As though there is a family.

I asked how he found this guy.

"My brother-in-law used him."

I asked if the brother-in-law was satisfied.

He thought about it. Then he said, "He's still standing."

The house is still standing. That is the entire review.

Inside I said: THEY DO NOT KEEP RECORDS. THEY KEEP LOYALTIES.

I called Mike Garage. He answered from inside a vehicle. There was wind. He said he could come Tuesday between eleven and four.

Between eleven and four. A window of five hours. In my country this would be a scandal. Here it is generous. He gave me a window at all. Some guys do not give you a window. Some guys say "Tuesday" and that is the whole appointment.

He came at 1:40.

He fixed it in twenty minutes. He charged me less than I expected and he did not take a card, only cash or an app I had never heard of.

Before leaving he looked at my water heater, which I had not mentioned, and said, "That's gonna go."

I asked when.

"Couple years."

I asked what I should do.

He said, "I'll give you a guy."

He gave me a guy. Mike Garage has a guy. The guy has a guy. There is a network beneath this country made entirely of men named after their function, and none of them advertise, and all of them are busy.

Inside I said: THERE IS A SECOND NATION HERE. IT HAS NO SIGNS. IT IS ENTERED ONLY BY INTRODUCTION.

I have been given four guys since.

I have a guy for trees.

I did not know I needed a guy for trees.

I have trees now, apparently. They are my responsibility. A man named Rick told me so and then left.

[Steve @ryan_martin14]

I still can’t believe this

[Culture Crave 🍿 @CultureCrave]

A24's 'Elden Ring' movie has wrapped filming ⚔️

Written and directed by Alex Garland

In theaters March 3, 2028

[Steve @ryan_martin14]

Very extremely untrue

[chef quibs @quibvs]

dune by book 2

[Robert J. O'Neill @mchooyah]

These guys sound WAY different when you wake them up at 2am. Shhhhhhh……🇺🇸

[Punchy @BigOrangePunch]

REST IN PISS

[Dean Ammi @AlgerianFooty]

🗣️ “I want to say thank you to Algeria for choosing Lawrence, Kansas.” 🇺🇸

The locals in USA are all getting behind Algeria. 🇩🇿

[Steve @ryan_martin14]

If you ever forget the fact that you live in the greatest country in the history of the world just go watch a baseball game

[Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry @pegobry_en]

US Presidents who have said no to Israel:
- Trump made Israel end the war in Gaza
- Obama, pretty fucking famously, made a nuclear deal with Iran that Israel saw as an existential crisis and did everything they could to stop
- Bush forced elections in Gaza & the West Bank that Israel (very rightly) opposed
- Bush invaded Iraq over Israeli objections (kind of noteworthy)
- Clinton arm-twisted Israel into offering Arafat an absurdly lopsided peace deal which Arafat refused; everyone on the American side is still coping and seething about this 25 years later
- Nixon & Kissinger pretty famously told Israel in the run-up to the Yom Kippur War that they would get "not as much as a bolt" if they did a pre-emptive strike even though Egypt & Syria were very clearly mobilizing for war, which ended up almost costing Israel its life
- Nixon & Kissinger only sent aid to Israel in the late stages of the Yom Kippur War and only after Golda Meir essentially engaged in nuclear blackmail; the aid they received was an order of magnitude smaller than the Soviet aid received by Israel's antagonists
- Eisenhower put an arms embargo on Israel
- Every US President until Trump (very wrongly) refused to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel
- Every US President until Trump (very rightly) refused to pardon Jonathan Pollard

And this is just off the top of my head

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Whole milk is back. 🥛

[Dept. of Agriculture @USDA]

Drink up, America.

#DrinkWholeMilk 🥛

[Emir Han @RealEmirHan]

In The Dark Knight Rises, Christian Bale and Tom Hardy couldn’t hear each other in this scene because “there was so much noise.”

They had to create a secret code.

“I say my line, then I point finger and he knows I’m done. And then he would do his bit.”

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

If you don’t know, now you know 🦅

[C3 @C_3C_3]

Remember this classic?

"Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at 7, it's marginal, right?"

Absolutely hilarious.😂😂😂

[Steve @ryan_martin14]

Jake Paul looks fat and #Sloppy