Ryan Sanders

Father. Born and raised in what Journey called, South Detroit. Detroit sports fan.

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

Yup. They did it again.

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

So how do you earn back the trust of the people that you’ve upset by leaving? @tedcruz goes on a tirade about “the angry left.” Also, it was his kid’s idea. He’s not the parent or anything. You know you can’t tell a kid “No. There’s a statewide emergency.”
Get the fuck out. 🖕 🖕

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@RepMaryMiller I’m sure 490,000k+ American families with dead loved ones will take solace in your concern for access to Google. Bravo, Mary. Bravo to you indeed. #MakeYourParentsProud

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@tedcruz Other things can be a parody, @tedcruz. That title is not exclusive to yourself.

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@tedcruz You were complicit in the murder of Capitol Police officers and violence against members of Congress just a few weeks ago. Then acquitted the ringleader. But, yeah, be safe during the storm. You’re a broke-dick version of yourself just a few years ago.

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

Anyone work at @Uber that can get a hold of me by dm? I have a question.

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@realDonaldTrump @FoxNews Why should they cover it? Your show was cancelled on November 3rd.

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@TotallyBeanie Tell her that she’s acting just like her mother. Trust me.

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@MichelleNW @SensesFail Two tours ago, I actually turned to a friend of mine and said, “I hope this doesn’t go too late. My back still hurts, and I still have that meeting at 8am.”

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@mandypher 😳

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@SamRichardson @buddythechud

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@realDonaldTrump Then do your thing. Sign an executive order, gutless wonder.

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

You ever see someone announce their engagement, you just think, “Oh. That’s going to end in a murder-suicide for sure”?

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@Public_Citizen The F-35’s will shoot down the virus. Like nuking a hurricane. Just trust the process.

[Aaron Blitzstein @AaronBlitzstein]

phil collins blowing minds. https://t.co/byXHwlhtMQ

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@AOC I had to explain what Tinder is to my 86 year old grandmother. I think you got this!

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@nickbayside We’re going to be shrinking the fighter jets down so that they will be shooting disinfectant at the virus from inside our bodies. You should really pay more attention. The Space Force is in our bloodstream. Not Outer Space. Inner Space.

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@TommyBottles401 @Jared_Carrabis My Tigers might have a shot! 😂😂

[Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds]

Vancouver: $5,000 to anyone who returns this bear to Mara. Zero questions asked. I think we all need this bear to come home.

[Ryan Sanders @ryan_sanders]

@Kraft4Prez @MarcCarig NHL is giving the number one draft pick to a random playoff team. Even though the next three picks go to the most deserving teams. How is that less flukey? Not trying to be rude at all, but Covid f&($ed all sports this year. It’s a year of asterisks.