Ryan Marsico

I'm a puppy in a human suit...so we're best friends now.

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

“What up my British underwear!”

“What?”

…

“My knickers”

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

@TWIZZLERS ALL THE WAY, EVERY DAY!! I’m a Twizzler-man through and through baby! — However…if there aren’t any Twizzlers, I’m not skipping over the @RedVines or anything; I’ll def grab a handful. I mean, I’m not an idiot!

[Marcus Lemonis @marcuslemonis]

Do you want to WIN a @TWIZZLERS or @RedVines filled RV ? Retweet this and I’ll make it happen for one lucky Licorice and @CampingWorld fan …. Which is your favorite ??? #redvinesVStwizzlers

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

And I thought this only happened in Disney cartoons...😍

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

@ImprovisingPaul Come kiss me in my face and say that...

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

I've spent the last 4 years only using Twitter to vent my frustrations at the previous White House Administration. I don't want that much negativity in my life anymore. Cleansing & Cleaning!! Only LOVE and PUPS on here from now on!

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

🎶DING DONG THE BITCH IS GONE! The bitch is gone, the bitch is gone. THE ORANGE BITCH IS GOOOOOONE!🎶 #BidenHarrisInauguration #sohappy #BetterDays

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

Who gets it?! I want it!!

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

Super quick and funny read by a friend and HILARIOUS co-head writer of @jimmykimmel; @dannyricker, this was truly delightful bud.

My Kid Killed Santa With Capitalism (Guest Column) https://t.co/yMDLqVqNuc via @thr

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

These are SO satisfying!

[Taika Waititi @TaikaWaititi]

❤️🔥🖕🏽

[Dana Goldberg @DGComedy]

I don’t want to pay for his million dollar travel allowance. I don’t want to pay his $200,000 salary. I don’t want to pay for secret service to protect him. He tried to destroy our democracy & made million while hundreds of thousands of Americans died. Impeach him and remove him.

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

@dionnewarwick #PeaceAndPets hi my name's "Brock!"

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

@dionnewarwick #PeaceAndPets hi, my name's "H.E.L.P. er!"

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

But...but he's your buddy friend Lady G!

[Lindsey Graham @LindseyGrahamSC]

If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed.......and we will deserve it.

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

@staceyabrams is a G.O.A.T!!

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

@realDonaldTrump @sendavidperdue Bye Felicia! 👏👋

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

YEAH GEORGIA!!!!!

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

@KurtDMaloney Challenge!

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

@realDonaldTrump HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bye...

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

@ImprovisingPaul Please do not...

[Ryan Marsico @ryanmarsico]

Perfection

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

I could write jokes for 800 years and I'd never think of something funnier than Trump booking the Four Seasons for his big presser, and it turning out to be the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot between a dildo store and a crematorium.