Ryan Friedman

Kid Presentable

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

I believe the children are our future but I also believe that instead of saying "just kidding" mine say "JK-47"

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

@craigcalcaterra @KamalaHarris She's running. (for baseball team ownership)

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

@drewmagary

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

@craigcalcaterra @JDVance

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

@IAmJamesStewart Rich Hill was pitching in the other lane

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

Carter Chinese

[ptah, spit on that thang, the el daoud @toriimacdaddy]

Your USC quarterback name is the sitting American president when you were born plus the last thing you bought. I’m Bush Record.

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

@evanbirnholz Jenny Jenny, who can i turn two

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

@SWTBlake Bigamy?

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

0.12% of Minnesotans moved to South Dakota. 4.2% of South Dakotans moved to Minnesota.

[Kristi Noem @KristiNoem]

Walz is no leader. He’s a radical. I served with him in Congress. He pretended to be moderate, then showed his true extremist colors as soon as he became Governor.

South Dakota has been kicking Minnesota’s butt economically for years. Last year, nearly 7,000 Minnesotans moved to South Dakota because Walz took his people’s Freedom away.

Harris-Walz will be the most radical left-wing ticket in American history

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

@NoahGarfinkel Those are their actual heads. It's a Toad situation.

[John Hodgman @hodgman]

The VP traditionally doesn’t have much to do once in office, but Walz could just do open phones every week answering dad questions: how to put chains on your tires, where the septic tank is, bridge construction trivia, etc

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

@craigcalcaterra D-Minus Snider

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

Kids, who put Game Show Network in the oven?

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

“The President had a lampshade on his head on several occasions. He sang Closing Time.”

[Annie Karni @anniekarni]

Biden is fighting back on Clooney.

From a source familiar with event planning: “The President stayed for over 3 hours, while Clooney took a photo quickly and left.”

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

@JasonSchwartz @GlobeChadFinn And Kyrie still in it

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

@Nerd4Cities @TempleUniv Definitely did NOT think that said Pagan Garlic

[John Tyler the Creator @Biz_Horse]

Have you been reading mock drafts and thinking, "man, none of these are dumb enough"? No worries, I've got you covered.

https://t.co/zb9tZh6GZi

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

Who are they, my AP English teacher?

[Rotoworld Baseball @rotoworld_bb]

Red Sox concerned about Story's bone structure https://t.co/05usahIYum

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

Quizzing your mom on Mario enemies

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

Happy Baseball

[Ryan Friedman @ryantfriedman]

Friend: Hey what kind of phone case you got?”
Me, not waiting to swallow the 7 Lindt truffles in my mouth: