ULTRAREGULAR

slay it forward

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

Fuckin frolf fuckin khaki shorts fuckin beer weather

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

me on a competition reality show: I actually just came here to make friends

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

It's funny when people get dressed up to go to shows. People literally wish you were invisible or two feet shorter at a show, no one cares what you look like.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

If Slumdog Millionaire was about a kid who got on Jeopardy instead of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire it would be like 12 hours long

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

Keep your friends close and check your enemies' subreddits.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

In case anybody's feeling pedantic I am aware of Kokomo, Indiana. But were the Beach Boys?

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

It's pretty audacious that one of the lyrics to "Kokomo" is "there's a place called Kokomo" when there isn't a place called Kokomo.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

Olympics would be so sick if they just worked like jury duty.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

Jimmy John's Solstice: the time of day when you are the most late and the most premature in ordering a delivered sammich.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

me doing the wordle at noon: I am a genius of unparalleled intellect.
me doing the wordle right after midnight with a couple drinks: can I start over

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

Fun fact: 95% of Salisbury steak is served to children who do not want it.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

Water's gotta make up its mind about whether it's sticky or slippery. Turning a page, opening a trash bag: sticky. Roads, waterslides: slippery. Quit playing both sides and pick a fuckin' lane.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

It must rule having the ability to like baseball, all having 10 hours of entertainment every day for 6 months outta the year.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

Multidisciplinary scientists are warning the public that a new Taco Bell slogan is imminent.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

Everyone remember that sending emails about touching base about stuff is skilled labor

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

A really scary ghost is haunting Europe - the really scary ghost of Communism.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

@bergtr0n Can I just fuck all of them at the same time

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

Fuck, kill, marry:
Statue of Liberty
Mona Lisa
Mrs. Butterworth

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

@notthedudealex I think marry Mrs Butterworth is so obvious that I need to revise the question, but I do have my f and k flipped from yours.

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

Curbstomp Your Enthusiasm

[ULTRAREGULAR @s0ul]

AstroTERF