lizzo al ghaib

aspiring human

[lizzo al ghaib @Saaratonin]

Ann Selzer rn:

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

explaining to cam skattebo that he won’t be able to play with jaxson anymore using the same hand signals they used to tell koko the gorilla her cat died

[Discussing RDC @DiscussingRDC]

How College Football Games Be Soon As You Stop Watching 😭

[Esckla @esckla]

Un compañero le está preguntando al profe de Economía sobre blanquear plata

[corb @awshuqs]

my friend said he had to “study” for the “bar exam” yeah normal people call that pregaming

[metaphor man @shitbiscuit]

[Optimus Prime cracking his 18th beer of the night] Autobots… fuck marry kill: school bus, ambulance, fire truck

[Alexis Blexas @agraybee]

What's an OWI you ask? Well it turns out Wisconsin has several tiers of drunk driving so that the entire state doesn't go to jail at once.

[Jaketropolis @jaketropolis]

"Your witty wordplay based on the prompt is admirable, but I've deployed a vulgar slur for my answer. That appears to be Quiplash, Mr. Bond."

[lizzo al ghaib @Saaratonin]

@jtova82 @kingocho3 @DiscussingFilm Tbf it didn’t go head to head, Barbie absolutely helped Oppy’s legs bc it became a viral double feature

[Onyx Odds @OnyxOdds]

@BleacherReport @ShamsCharania Every 250 years Philly has the greatest month of July ever

[Richard Lawson @rilaws]

Odyssey is terrific. Comfortably seats eight and features the thoughtful engineering touches we’ve come to expect from Honda

[Boppa 🧟‍♂️ @ihatebbls]

That shit cool and all but ain’t a soul on Belgium meeting Derrick Henry in the A gap in the middle of december

[Seton Hall Student @sacketology]

Jar Jar Binks calling someone a bitch

[Cleveland Sirens @clevelandsirens]

💛💙 You’ve been asking… and we finally made it official — name, colors, brand, everything.

#TogetherStartsNoW

[Raiderland Watchdog 🏴‍☠️ @WatchdogTTU]

BREAKING: Elite 2026 Dual-Threat Driver Tiger Woods has Committed to Georgia, he tells me for @Rivals
Woods, a unanimous First-Team All-American in Florida Highway Patrol circles, recorded a 0.15 BAC, 3 missed stop signs, and a 4.2 dash from the sobriety test last night.
“I just felt like Kirby Smart was the only coach who could truly develop my game off the field. Respect my decision. #GoDawgs 🐾🚔”

[ؘ @thesentrim]

The thunderbolts team when sentry gets too emotional

[lizzo al ghaib @Saaratonin]

I Lied To You getting robbed by cringe Kslop

[lizzo al ghaib @Saaratonin]

@JackKennedy LMAO

[lizzo al ghaib @Saaratonin]

Reading up on Robert Saleh and stumbled across one of the greatest endings to a bio section ever