the guy with the thing

First class fuck up.
Second rate human.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

Me- "Hey I found like, a lot of $'s worth of new windows, took me 2 hours to dig them out!

Dad- "great, thanks!"

Dad, later- "make fast go lawnmower!" *glass go smash all over*

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

@BuffaloKennedy Pat the Bunny is always my go-to recommendation.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

if that asteroid doesn't hit us come November ima just go swim in the whirlpools at Zoar valley.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

morning waiting on the weather, afternoon wondering why you even bother to do what you're doing, blow off your evening plans because your s.o. cant bear the thought of you not being available to text about absolutely fucking nothing, stare at wall till morning. Rinse. Repeat.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

I just realized Yolo = our generations Memento Mori.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

@TerribleMajesty @SarahKSilverman Holy shit you're retarded.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

Me, everyday for two weeks; I'm only working the morning of the 13th. I have plans.

Cliff: Hey since its the 13th, how bout on top of the one thing we have slated for today we do 3 more, interrupted by an hour and half lunch break?

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

The only way I can seem to comprehend chunks of time is by calculating 'how long since *person* debuted as The Doctor.' SEVEN years since Peter Capaldi. Fucking hell that makes me feel dated.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

Today would have been grandmas birthday. Happy birthday gram. I miss you.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

Someone should shit on this dudes doorstep and then lite it on fire. Not the shit, his house.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

@elonmusk @historyofarmani Holy hell bro, I was a pro-am criminal for a while and you're still a bigger piece of shit than anyone I met in that line of work

[InuTrasha @champ_of_sport]

fiscally i’m broke but socially i’m lonely

[Neil Gaiman @neilhimself]

While looking for kitchen equipment on Amazon I ran across what appears to be an unexpected Coraline sequel.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

@erikwdavis @normative @jbouie Nothing. In some places Even if the officers are properly uniformed and ID them selves when they try to apprehend you and you've done nothing wrong, you are allowed to defend yourself from wrongful imprisonment up to and including using deadly force.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

From now I on I will only answer to Speedchunk. Punt Speedchunk. Dr. Punt Speedchunk.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

I just found a 1988 low budget South African Sci-fi that rips scenes from OG BSG and it may now be in my top 5. It's so bad.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

I put critical role off for almost a year to avoid watching that episode. Mollymauk Tealeaf deserved a longer story than that. Character deaths suck. 😢

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

@NRDC Unless they can start a factory farm it's a futile gesture anyway. Small ethical farms are going extinct.

[the guy with the thing @saintjackthe1st]

@bighuman76 Choke on shit.