Amanda

hi

[carol from pta @carolfrompta]

do not try to teach me a card game i will literally pass out

[Amanda @salamanionda]

Very very scared, just realized how close in proximity Alabama is from Western North Carolina

[Amanda @salamanionda]

It’s official. I am stupid. I thought my washing machine was broken because it would fill up with water & then wouldn’t start. I spent over an hour turning it on and off again & resetting it. I even called my realtor and begged him to help me.
It was simply set to pre soak.

[Amanda @salamanionda]

I’ve bought my cat so many nice toys and instead he plays with a plastic cap and an unwrapped straw from my purse.

[Amanda @salamanionda]

Wisconsin and Minnesota are the same in my head

[Amanda @salamanionda]

I love it when undergrads and recent graduates create a LinkedIn account and then suddenly take it upon themselves to become career counselors and give their unsolicited expertise to anyone who breathes

[Amanda @salamanionda]

I entered my password wrong once for the Taco Bell app and they locked my account for 5 minutes? Bitch what is this the IRS?

[Amanda @salamanionda]

Can someone explain to me like I’m 5 why Jeff Bezos has 150 billion dollars, Im just not getting it

[Amanda @salamanionda]

@FaZeKay 8251

[Amanda @salamanionda]

If I get another email that says "i hope this email finds you well" or "in these strange, uncertain times," i'm gonna loose my gd mind

[Amanda @salamanionda]

Trump needs to spray tan his eyelids before we go into national lockdown smh

[Amanda @salamanionda]

I just accidentally ate miracle whip please help me

[Amanda @salamanionda]

I will admit it. I have no idea how a standard two lane roundabout works.

[Amanda @salamanionda]

When you’re at the Apple store transferring all of your files to a new laptop & all of your embarrassing pictures pop up for all of the employees and their mothers to see

[Amanda @salamanionda]

2nd day into online classes & I dropped & broke my Mac book, consider this me dropping out of the semester, goodnight.

[Amanda @salamanionda]

Joe Biden running for president is elder abuse

[Amanda @salamanionda]

Can someone tell the demon in my head to quit swiping my credit card

[Amanda @salamanionda]

I’m sorry but my hate for google docs and it’s inability to format ANYTHING is beyond words. I’m the cat, the wine is google docs.