Russell Eaton

Accountant, comedy aficionado (not simultaneously); outnumbered parent.

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

@bigginge14 How about using the remainder of the school year for enrichment and low stress activities - deferring a year for all and starting again in September with good plans in place?

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

The UK was supposed to implement the metric system shortly after EEC membership, but dragged it out. Will it ever happen? Give them and inch...

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

#RuinSexIn3Words Penis Capitivus again!

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

#RuinSexIn3Words Not American Express?

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

@StuartMaconie Pie at Night: excellent and entertaining as ever.Medium rare maconienisms always awaited:Fleshpots (tick)and Ptarmigan(alack)

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

@iamjohnoliver: as a Brummie, what say you to Fox News?

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

@DannyBaker5Live Danny have you heard? I recall you intended action should this happen http://t.co/y8jZXHQg3k

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

Kids watch trash. Daught. v impr. with vivid simile of disdain: "funny as sick...being shared into solid, muscus and smooth parts by tongue"

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

@Ellie_Eaton98 if you see this you cannot be watching telly

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

@StuartMaconie rewatched Please Please me; excellent -thank you. Re Beatles dislikers: when I hear their disdain, I reach for my Revolver.

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

If you built a tree house in an Apple tree, would it have Windows?

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

bullfighter's and chicken farmer's favourite cosmetics? Olay.

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

@Ellie_Eaton98 and that's nothing like great music. Try Serge Gainsbourg

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

@quickgag like your style. Will steal yours and share mine. All time favourite: Did Malcolm X want no publicity?

[Quick Gag @quickgag]

I went on a trip to a postcard factory last week. It was OK. Nothing to write home about.

[Quick Gag @quickgag]

Seen the front cover of Rolf Harris's new autobiography? Apparently they've spelled his name wrong!

ROFL

[Quick Gag @quickgag]

I've just got a new aftershave that smells of breadcrumbs.

The birds love it

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

@Ellie_Eaton98 @_lavinaaa I'll keep you on the secret jedi programme whether you know it or not...look, I am your father...

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

The benefits of simple origami are two-fold. A Tim Vine joke. Nice.

[Russell Eaton @SalopianMrE]

Look after your pet. Really like this. https://t.co/056iQ0AO