As someone who has had three children in five years of marriage, writing "I think it’s bordering on sin for a couple to limit themselves to having two children" is extraordinarily foolish and unbiblical.
Yes, children are amazing. Yes, be fruitful and multiply. But no, don't place yokes on people that aren't found in the Bible. That's what the Pharisees did, and Jesus despised them for it.
Old Testament Law required that Jews work six days, and rest on the Sabbath. Pharisees thought, "Well, plucking grain is working, therefore you can't pluck grain on the Sabbath" (read Matt. 12:1-14).
It sounds reasonable. There's a general command, don't work on the Sabbath, and the Pharisees were simply laying out specific ways that you must avoid work on the Sabbath. Not working on the Sabbath is good. Why did Jesus despise the Pharisees so much for striving to have more people follow God's good commands?
Because they're adding their own words and requirements to God's words, and making it equal in authority. Breaking the Pharisees' traditions and laws was equivalent to breaking the Scriptures, even though the Bible never said you couldn't pluck grain on the Sabbath. All it said is that you couldn't work.
In the same way, having children is good. They're blessings. Scripture is clear on that (Psalm 127:3).
But in encouraging married couples to follow the general command of being fruitful and multiplying, we must be careful of committing the error of placing specific requirements on them that aren't found in the Bible (I don't believe Mike is doing this, but he's close), even if those requirements involve blessings, such as placing a burden upon parents to have more than two children.
If the Scriptures don't require you to have a set number of children (and they don't), then it's not "borderline sinful" for you and your spouse to agree upon how many children you would like to have, or to have fewer children than you're able to have. Matters such as this fall under Christian liberty (Romans 14), and are a matter of wisdom and conscience for each couple to think through, seek counsel on, and bring before the Lord in prayer.
You can encourage a married couple to have more than two children if you know them and their situation and believe it'd result in the best blessings for their lives specifically, but your input is not law, it's merely wise counsel and isn't required to be followed. Only God's Word has such authority.
"Therefore, let us no longer judge one another. Instead decide never to put a stumbling block or pitfall in the way of your brother or sister." (Romans 14:13)
Surprising your husband really is the best. I surprised my husband with remote start in his car for Valentine’s Day 5 years ago (installed it when he thought I was taking it in for an oil change) and he still brings it up. This man will be telling this story in the nursing home.
The chances of this occurring are extremely remote. The surviving evidence is sparse and comes from interested sources, making it insufficient to dispel serious historical skepticism.
@SummrWrites My husband sent me a huberman podcast that discussed muscle failure is more important than number of reps soooo I think this is real math 🤗
In general, I’ve noticed among my friends that moms who incentivize keeping underwear clean and dry have an easier time than incentivizing using the toilet. It’s a subtle distinction, but it’s more aligned with the actual goal.
We tried bribery. We got a box of 16 fancy truffles from aldi, and every time he went #2 on the potty, he got one. He was unimpressed.
Then we tried confiscation. Every time I had to change a stinky diaper, I ate one of his truffles. He was trained in a week.
@a_hntr@BlackDumpling The European media is extremely liberal compared to American politics, so they’ll celebrate America as the world leader when we have a liberal president, and undermine America with a conservative president. It’s annoying, but individual Americans and European get along fine
@BeckyTheChicken I really like iPhones feature of being able to share location for 1 hour. Like when I’m driving in from out of town, I can send my MIL our location when we’re getting close, but otherwise she doesn’t need to know where we are.
There’s a big disconnect between parents and non parents about what it’s actually like to have a child because the hardships are describable but the joy is not.
I’ve been volunteering to help with child care at a homeschooling co-op because I wanted to observe and evaluate before my oldest is due to start in the fall. This post mirrors all my observations. The highest potential is possible, but there is no safety net. Don’t screw it up
I was homeschooled, I loved it, and I'm excited to homeschool my children. I was also abused, both physically and spiritually, within that context. Here are some things I think are true at the same time:
📚 The best of homeschooling is far better than the best of public schooling. You simply cannot beat one-on-one, personalized instruction from an adult who deeply knows and loves you. I got this from my mom. It's an extraordinary gift.
📚 The worst of public schooling is better than the worst of homeschooling. A more severe level of educational neglect is possible in homeschooling. A more severe level of social isolation and malformation is possible in homeschooling. The abuse of a parent is more harmful than the same abuse by a teacher, and the impact of parental abuse is magnified within homeschooling. If a child is being abused at school, they can go to their parents for help. If they're being abused at home, they can go to the school for help. At the very least, the hours at school are not spent in the abusive home environment. For an abused homeschooler, there are few accessible places to go for help, and there is no reprieve. Additionally, if sufficiently isolated, the abused homeschooler often has no idea that what is happening is not right. This was my experience with my dad's abuse. However, the positives of my homeschool experience vastly outweigh the negatives.
📚 There are far, far more opportunities for abuse at public (or even private) school than home. From bullying by fellow students to sexual abuse by any of the staff, even the best public schools are significantly less safe than an average home.
📚 A school has hours and hours to indoctrinate your child into whatever they want, teachers can easily convince your child they know better than you, the parent, and you have only a few hours a day to discover, much less fight it. And that's not to mention what your child is exposed to via other children. However, the level of brainwashing possible within homeschooling is higher than public school. Cults typically rely on homeschooling to maintain control of the children. All this is a function of access, control, and time.
📚 Socialization IS a valid concern. There is no reason why a homeschooler must be socially maldeveloped, but I have met plenty who are. It is necessary for homeschooling parents to be intentional about it. One aspect of this I never hear talked about is feminization of boys. I have seen worse feminization of boys who grew up in deeply conservative families than boys coming out of feminism-soaked public school. Why? Lack of male role models. Generally the mother homeschools. Often the father works long hours to make homeschooling possible. The boy may get lots of socialization, but in homeschool groups run largely by homeschool moms, and, by sheer accident, little influence from male authority figures and even less relationship and guidance.
📚 CONCLUSION 📚
It is a MASSIVE mistake to tell yourself, as a parent, that public schooling is so bad that no matter what you do in your homeschool, your child will be better off than a public schooler. No. False. It matters a great deal how you run your homeschool. You, as the parent will make or break your child's education and social development. If you choose to homeschool, you accept a massive responsibility that you ought to take very seriously. I'm of the opinion that it was always your responsibility, and it's not good to abdicate that responsibility to the government, but I see far too many homeschool parents, especially those in this post-COVID, post-LGBTQ, social-media influenced homeschooling boom being far too dismissive of all the valid concerns associated with homeschooling.
If you homeschool, it is in your power to massively bless and advantage your child and launch them far further than public school ever could. But it is also in your power to deeply harm your children and hamstring their futures, so please take care.
@pika_nekopanda I see many Japanese apologizing for not replying back, but in America, there is no obligation to reply! No one will be offended if you don’t get to them! 😊
@not_a_photo_@WatcherontheWeb Earnestness for sure. Concern and respect for others. The pride you take in the pursuit of perfection for the common, every day things. My husband is a woodworker, and the Japanese craftsman he follows on instagram achieve a precision that doesn’t seem real. Very impressive
@Imanicchan1908 I see many Japanese apologizing for not replying to everyone, but there is no obligation to reply in America. We love the exchange, but no one will be offended if you don’t get to them ☺️