Sam Carstensen

[Sam Carstensen @samcarstensen]

@friscolive415 @kron4news Source: https://t.co/o5HbQ3ALzy

[Sam Carstensen @samcarstensen]

@friscolive415 “According to a Waymo spokesperson, the autonomous vehicle was struck from behind by a speeding car that was going about 98 miles per hour.” (From @kron4news)

Good lord.

[“paula” @paularambles]

if you’re not in tech then all you need to know about the past weekend is that your tech friends went through like three seasons of succession

[Cormac McCarthy @CormacMcCrthy]

For reasons unknown my publicist Terry asked me to write my own prewritten obituary. Fine

Cormac McCarthy - the world's most competent writer and whisky connoisseur - departed the earth on the same day a sentient wig possessed of an ancient evil was arraigned in Florida, a state governed by crocodiles

He leaves behind a body of work that echoes the gritty reality of life and a Twitter account that echoes his disdain for Terry and his nurse and his nurse's idiot boyfriend Ziggy and roller rinks and Gen Z and millennials and kombucha and the Mandalorian and

In life he was a man of few words. In death he is only slightly more reticent. His publicist Terry is already no doubt concocting posthumous tweets to keep the golden goose laying eggs. Terry is a venal man with no shame so we expect nothing more

A man more at home with scotch and leather recliners than the company of others, Cormac elevated the term reclusive author to new heights of respectability. All authors now fancy themselves reclusive but still they speak to humans and grant interviews and acknowledge the grocery clerk with more than a grunt and nod. But not Cormac McCarthy. His literary prowess was only matched by his ability to avoid public appearances. Whether dodging book signings or exposing the infernal internet as the confusing labyrinth it is, Cormac McCarthy enlightened the feeble minded masses like that greek god with the fire who got his liver eaten by a hawk. Prometheus or whatever. I dont care what his name was.

Cormac McCarthy is survived by his daughter who turned out to be a millennial despite his best efforts and his granddaughter, a TikTok video in human form.

His greatest disappointment was failing to survive his lawyer Gregory. No lawyer should outlive his client.

In lieu of flowers you must do three things:

1. Retweet this to increase its metrics something something who cares

2. Read Air Turbulence, a comedic stage play he wrote under the absurd pseudonym Daniel Watts, and send a DM if you want to produce it locally https://t.co/hpzaI7pMol

3. Give thanks that the First Amendment has strong protections for obvious parody of public figures

[Sam Carstensen @samcarstensen]

@Nic_Townes 🤣

https://t.co/W1fuXT2RhZ

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

This link works: https://t.co/9PzIJkseYI

[Nick Gray @nickgraynews]

Life pro tip: you don’t have to check out of hotels.

You can just leave. It is awesome

[President Biden Archived @POTUS46Archive]

I just want to make a few things clear:

The Holocaust happened.

Hitler was a demonic figure.

And instead of giving it a platform, our political leaders should be calling out and rejecting antisemitism wherever it hides.

Silence is complicity.

[Be A King @BerniceKing]

Police apprehended a man suspected of killing 6 and wounding 24 without shooting him.

And after a brief chase.

I didn't want police to kill him.

But I also know #JaylandWalker should be alive, and his body not riddled with 60 bullets.

#StateOfTheUnion #HighlandPark

[Golden State Warriors @warriors]

‼️‼️‼️

[Golden State Warriors @warriors]

Steve Kerr on today's tragic shooting in Uvalde, Texas.

[Coinshift @0xCoinshift]

1/ 🔥Big news for @0xCoinshift today.

We’re thrilled to announce that we have closed a $15 Million Series A Round as we prepare for the launch of the most sophisticated multichain treasury infrastructure for DAOs & Companies with Coinshift V2!

https://t.co/krhlGXT2cZ

[Maia Bittner @maiab]

I don’t want to attach a voided check I want you to trust me to be able to enter my bank account and routing numbers correctly

[BigLawBoiz @biglawboiz]

Is your teen texting about commercial agreements?

LOL = limitation of liability
IDC = indemnifications don’t carveout
No🧢 = liability is uncapped
Sus = suspected breach
STFU = Simpson Thacher Fucked Up
E-boy/girl = Attorney responsible for executing docs

[Alexis Ohanian 🗽 @alexisohanian]

Twitter, I need your help: we're looking for a GC w securities experience who is passionate about figuring out the intersection of crypto + blockchain w financial regulation. This is an important role in a very importnat 776 co: @OnlyAltOfficial 👇👇👇

https://t.co/OG5EVTNkl8

[Sam Carstensen @samcarstensen]

@KlayThompson @andre @CashApp $SamC #PaidInBitcoin

[Wile E SongDog 🌻 @WileESongdog]

@CBSLA Drop the “Flurona” bit. It’s 2 concurrent infections, not a hybrid.

If people have 2 conditions at same time it’s not a new disease.

Heart disease & diabetes isn’t Heartabetes.

Prion disease & shingles isn’t Pringles.

Viral encephalitis & twin pregnancy isn’t Rabies Babies.

[Sam Carstensen @samcarstensen]

Wordle 200 4/6

⬛⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩🟩🟨🟨⬛
🟩🟩🟨🟩⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[Ryan Hoover @rrhoover]

Alt just announced their $75M Series B. This isn’t a “sports card trading site”.

https://t.co/edgGPRXXkJ

Thankful to be a part of it with @weekendfund.

[Alexis Gay @yayalexisgay]

when you definitely understand NFTs

[Ryan Petersen @typesfast]

Yesterday I rented a boat and took the leader of one of Flexport's partners in Long Beach on a 3 hour of the port complex. Here's a thread about what I learned.