samantha

Amityville - Baltimore

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Everytime i drink red wine i throw up, is this a common thing 😂

[samantha @samdevecchis]

I cant believe i once wanted to go to the university of alabama, what a terrible excuse for a state.

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Changing my profession name from bartender to professional adult babysitter

[samantha @samdevecchis]

@TtpWynn GET THIS 4 PICK WHITE MAN OFF THE FIELDDDDD

[samantha @samdevecchis]

At least she takes her job in this house very seriously considering she lives here rent free

[samantha @samdevecchis]

My cat has killed the 5 mice in the past 6 weeks and i dont know whether to be impressed or scared of her killing skills.

(yes the exterminator is coming next week)
(also our house is next to an abandoned building we are not dirty people 🥲)

[samantha @samdevecchis]

If you work at a bar and are constantly posting pictures of how long the bar line is you are a loser

[samantha @samdevecchis]

People who post excessively about celebrities passing away are weird. Did you know them?? Were you good friends?? No youre obsessing over someone that you didnt know at all acting like a close family member died.

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Follow up tweet: spend $1000 for them to tell us she has a really bad tummy ache from the mouse she decided to torture for 12 hours and then kill 😵‍💫☺️😅

[samantha @samdevecchis]

How do people have children? My cats at the emergency vet and i feel like im dying inside lmao

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Things that are useless: @BaltimorePD_911

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Happy 9/11 to people with dead parents who celebrate!!!

[samantha @samdevecchis]

I am the queen of forgetting to wish people a happy birthday

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Philly is gross

[samantha @samdevecchis]

I thought my bf was being nice getting me an AMEX linked to his account until he said i had to pay for it when i used it 🥲

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Things i will forever miss about long island:
-the food
-the beaches
-the nail salons
-how fast people drive

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Crazy we pay taxes for this absolute useless shitshow @BaltimorePolice

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Wanna here a joke??? Its @BaltimorePD_911 absolute fucking joke.

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Idk why baltimore even has 911 as an option if you call and they dont even show up 30-45 minutes later then call back asking for the address????

[samantha @samdevecchis]

Do better, NYPD would run circles around your asses