Sam

I"m tired and just here for my girls.🏳️‍⚧️

[Sam @samgurl85]

I was supposed to be a cat lady

[Sam @samgurl85]

"You're not feeding me, Jimmy, that's a line I will not cross."

[Sam @samgurl85]

@lltoms I probably do anyway

[Sam @samgurl85]

I promised my lei I would do this every time it happened so… I'm sorry, but I laugh EVERY time they say "Vienetta" in the Up documentaries.

[Sam @samgurl85]

@lltoms yes love

[Sam @samgurl85]

@lltoms please no anything but the straps

[Sam @samgurl85]

the noises this girl is making over this are worth it

[Leila @lltoms]

I gasped and cried even though I watched it first time around I forgot so f-in much of this amazing show…

[Sam @samgurl85]

@Glinner you can't even look decent when they cherry pick a "yay" picture lol. absolute ghoulishness, it shines through the lens.

[Sam @samgurl85]

@Glinner she loves herself and you still cry yourself to sleep cos you look like a fucking goblin and have dug yourself deep you have no choice to continue this moronic display

[Sam @samgurl85]

@lltoms you have cried too much today missy I am declaring a beach banquet

[Sam @samgurl85]

@lltoms 😂

[Sam @samgurl85]

@lltoms don't get used to it

[Sam @samgurl85]

when you randomly find yourself thinking "wait, is Eva Marie Saint still alive?" and

[Sam @samgurl85]

@complains_219 does this work for you? ever? blocking instantly you crazy fuck. you're probably just a bot made by them. I'm familiar. you think anyone isn't?

[Sam @samgurl85]

@tesco please stop the new weird disney store ass policy of making your staff say a fake hello to everyone, I swear to fucking god we will go to another store even if it's more expensive. your ruse is not fucking working and we hate it.

[Sam @samgurl85]

"oh, I don't have one for you… I had an extra serenity but I lit it because my tranquility burnt"

[Sam @samgurl85]

"Maybe that kind of confidence is a good thing…" the Val looks to camera are slowly becoming something else this season of the comeback, holy shit

[Sam @samgurl85]

I did not see Paulie G becoming the hero and I hate how much fucking sense it makes

[Sam @samgurl85]

@lltoms true that's the last time I peed

[Sam @samgurl85]

@lltoms I love when you get like pee your pants excited. god for such a life.