Sam Hickson

Sam is actually kind of a fun name

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

the worst part about wanting to learn another language is the harsh reality that I truly have nothing to say

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

Every American bar + restaurant has a burger called “Tim’s Heart Attack” and it’s named after a guy who ate 50 burgers in a row and had a heart attack and if you beat Tim’s record the meal is free

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

Okay deleting twitter off my phone go ahead and miss me

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

The horror movie executives at Neon want me to throw up, they want me to wake up screaming in the middle of the night, they are trying to horrify me… and I let them 😏

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

What’s next, no giggles? No horsing around? No tomfoolery? No clowncore hilariosity?

[The Real Zim Shady @zimranjacob]

one of the craziest posts of all time

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

I WAS TODAY YEARS OLD when I learned my dust allergies were Münchausen syndrome by proxy

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

just me then 😞

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

Anyone else feel like a sack of 5 burgers on a two dog night? Just me?

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

I love listening to my girlfriend’s voice messages, it’s like a solo podcast where I’m a main character

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

You might think my life is easy, but my grandfather could never have emotionally dealt with threateningly sexual ice cream business names like Daddy’s Dairy and Cream Palace

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

As a former improviser in corporate America, you are always one degree away from being a cult leader

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

You think “Baby on board” is gonna stop me?? What if I’m looking for a baby??

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

A lot of these so called comedians are actually dudes brimming with hatred and rage… just honk your nose bro

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

My egg! You found it!!

[prayingforexits 🏴‍☠️ @mrexits]

A 1.5 meter (4.9ft) sphere appeared today at Enshuhama Beach in Hamamatsu, Japan.

Police have surrounded the area and cordoned off a perimeter of 200 meters until they determine what the object is.

What the hell do we think this is?

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

It is emotionally humbling waiting for a bartender.. thoughtful patience, cash out, eyes desperately seeking attention, begging for someone to ask me “what do you want?”

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

Therapists should start prescribing hibachi restaurants for middle-aged depression, every 50-something-year-old is having the time of their life in there

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

From the ages of like 4 to 9, I had such horrific nightmares about this guy that I regularly needed soothing piano music playing to fall asleep. Honestly I’d party with him now

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

@theyoungestsull I love this and it’s presented with clear alternatives, I hope they recognize this

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

@babadookspinoza The hair growth & health!

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

I won’t be going home for the holidays this year because I’ve developed an allergy to big bowls of lukewarm scrambled eggs

[Sam Hickson @samhickso]

this looks like my college improv group warming up before a show

[Fascinating @fasc1nate]

The launch party Microsoft Windows 1995