Semiat Abdulazeez

[Naza✨ @_nazatrades]

21 years of school just to end up watching candlesticks in my room.

[Wuraholar💕 @Wuraholar2]

From being excited for Eid to now preparing for the Day of Arafah. We all grew up in between.

[Oyindamola🙄 @dammiedammie35]

This Muslim school made all their students participate in the Mecca hajj trip drill🥹🕋

[A.Y.O @YusufAsunmogejo]

Let’s talk about the 7-7-7 rule of parenting. I know that some of you might have heard of it before. But what I want to share with you are rare tips that you cannot find in your regular blogs.

Why the 7-7-7 Rule in the first place?

We are all exhausted. I see it in my DMs every day. We are fighting battles in our homes that we should not even be in because we try to use the same heavy hand for every age.

The truth is, you cannot use the same logic for a toddler that you use for a teenager. When you use the wrong tool at the wrong time, you do not just fail to teach the child. You break the relationship between you and the child.

The 7-7-7 rule is the solution to this constant friction. This rule was first echoed by Ali ibn Abi Talib (May The Almighty be pleased with him).

He said: Play with them for seven years, Discipline them for seven years, and then Befriend them for seven years. It sounds easy, but most of us do it in the wrong order. We are too serious with the toddlers and then we try to be the boss when they are already teenagers.

(1) The 0 to 7 Years Stage. This is the stage to build the love tank. Imam Al-Ghazali said in Ihya, that a child's heart is a precious jewel that is blank and ready for any carving. In these years, you should play more than you lecture.

One rare tip that you can adopt going forward is Overhead Praise. Direct praise is good, but overhead praise is gold. Instead of telling them they are good, tell your spouse or a friend about their good deed while the child is in the room. When they hear you brag about their kindness when they think you aren't looking, it builds a deep confidence.

Action Tip: Find one small thing they did well today and mention it to someone else while they are nearby. Make sure they can hear you. Be intentional and consistent about it.

(2) The 7 to 14 Years Stage. This is the time for character and boundaries. The scholar Ibn al-Jawzi in Sayd al-Khatir, warned us about forcing a narrow vessel to hold too much.

Remember I talked about Taghaful (Strategic Ignorance) yesterday. This is the right age to use it. It means you see the mistake, but you choose to look away. If you correct every single thing they do wrong, they will develop a hearing block against your voice by age ten. You have to save your corrections for the things that matter.

Action Tip: Start today by adopting the 70/30 rule. Ignore 70% of the small irritations, maybe it is a messy desk or a slow response. Save your energy for the 30% that actually involves character or safety.

Only speak up for the big boundaries. You are building authority by not wasting it on small irritations. Pay attention to their demeanor and be consistent.

(3) The 14 to 21 Years Stage. In this stage, the "boss" version of you must die so the "consultant" version can be born. The scholar Ibn Miskawayh in Tahdhib al-Akhlaq, wrote about the refinement of the soul as a process that requires respect. If you keep using force, they will just learn to hide their life from you.

Action Tip: Your job now is to protect their Sirr (Sacred Secrecy). If they tell you something heavy, misdeed or embarrassing, keep it between you. Do not share it with the extended family. To keep them close, you must be a safe vault.

This week, try to listen to them for twenty minutes without giving a single piece of advice. Just listen so they know you are a friend they can trust with their future.

In all, the 7-7-7 rule is about realizing that you are a gardener. You don't make the plant grow. You just provide the right environment for it to reach its own opening (Fath).

As a parent, which stage are you currently navigating? Let’s discuss in the comments👏🏿👏🏿

[A.Y.O @YusufAsunmogejo]

Dear Parents,

I want to share one parenting secret with you. The one you won’t find in your regular blogs. And trust me, regardless of your faith, you will find this tip beneficial.

I want to explain why some kids become completely stubborn the more you punish them. I am doing this because I got some messages yesterday from people who have kids in the diaspora and how their kids have become stone-hearted to their parents’ warnings. It is indeed painful.

Remember that I mentioned the monumental book of Imam Al-Ghazali, Ihya’ Ulum al-Din. We have more things to learn from it.

In this book, he talked about a fragile part of a child's mind called the “Veil of Shame.” Note: Every child has this because they are born upon Fitrah (purity of the soul).

When a child does something bad for the first time, they usually try to hide it. They are afraid of being caught because they still value their dignity in your eyes.

The scholars explained that if a parent exposes the child, screams, yells at them, and punishes every mistake, you are tearing down their veil of shame.

Once a child realizes you already see them as a bad person, the humiliation has happened. They stop caring. You have destroyed their internal brakes. When they have no dignity left to protect, they will start doing those bad things openly and boldly.

How do you notice this in your child?

You can tell this is happening in your child when they stop trying to hide their mistakes and start becoming brazen or "strong-headed" when caught. This is a sign that the veil is thinning.

To fix this, you need to use a concept called Taghaful. It translates to intentional ignorance or pretending you did not see a fault.

Our Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us this. He did this with a young companion called Usama bin Zaid. But I see that our parents, due to their high expectations, are often too impatient to look away.

If you catch your child doing a hidden wrong, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pretend you did not see it. Do not confront them and strip them of their respect.

Instead, bring up the topic later in a general conversation. Tell a story about why that action is destructive, without looking at them or accusing them. Let their own conscience do the punishing. Let them repent and fix it in secret.

A parent who hunts down every small mistake will end up raising a child who has no shame left to lose.

Let me know if you want more of these scholarly parenting tips. I will be willing to share. My DM is full with different issues. I cannot answer everything, but I am sure with these tips, a lot of those issues will be solved by God’s grace.

Thank you for your attention.

Allah knows best.

[A.Y.O @YusufAsunmogejo]

This is one of the most common silent struggles destroying young people today, be it Muslims or non-Muslims.

If I am to answer your question straight away. Yes. Allah will forgive you. The fact that you feel this shame and guilt, and you are asking this question means your heart is still very much alive.

The biggest trick Shaytan plays on you happens the moment you close the tab. He drops a heavy blanket of shame on you. He wants you to feel so dirty and so hypocritical for breaking your promise to Allah that you stop asking for forgiveness.

He wants you to think your repentance is fake. Do not buy that lie. If you fall a thousand times, you crawl back a thousand and one times. Allah's mercy does not have a limit. Shaytan just wants to put a limit in your head.

Having said that, we need to talk about the real problem here. I know you want a solution. But you know what? Relying on pure willpower will never work. I know you know this too. Therefore, we have to look at why you keep going back.

Based on what I have read, porn is rarely about physical desire. It is a painkiller. It is a coping mechanism. When you are stressed, feeling deeply lonely, or overwhelmed by a reality you do not want to face, your brain looks for a quick hit of dopamine to numb the pain. And since we are a free hyper-sexualized world, you find it very easy to use your screen as an escape hatch.

However, when the high wears off, the reality you ran away from is still waiting for you. Now it is compounded by spiritual guilt. That guilt creates more stress. That stress triggers the urge to escape again. It is a vicious loop. I know you’ve been in this vicious cycle several times, hence your question…

If I am prescribe a permanent and sustainable cure for you, the best way is to read and learn the root psychology of sins yourself. Forget all those tips you see online. The best way is to immerse yourself in knowledge. This is because if you know it, it will help you prevent it, break it if you are in it, and teach you the way out.

I am prescribing a book that has rescued millions of people from this very pit. You need to read "The Disease and the Cure" (Al-Daa' wa al-Dawaa') by Imam Ibn al-Qayyim.

A man came to Ibn al-Qayyim centuries ago. He was completely broken. He asked if there was any hope for a sin that had completely hijacked his life. The Imam wrote this entire book as a direct response to that one man. It is a profound masterclass in human psychology.

Ibn al-Qayyim breaks down the anatomy of a sin. He shows you how a passing thought turns into a whisper. He shows how that whisper becomes a burning urge, and how that urge hardens into a chain around your neck. He teaches you how to intercept the thought at the root before it gains power over your limbs. He also teaches you how to seek divine intervention and how to repair your broken relationship with your lord. These are things you need to know.

Get the English translation. Read it slowly. You have to start addressing the real stress and voids in your life instead of running away from them. Put strict physical blocks on your devices so your moments of weakness require too much effort to act upon.

Ultimately, start making concrete plans for marriage. You need it. Work hard to accelerate your financial freedom and get a wife.

Keep fighting. Those who fight win.

May God make it easy for you and many others who are currently struggling with …

[Sara @piousdeenn]

There's a surah in the Quran that was revealed for one specific feeling.

Not grief. Not fear.
Not loneliness.

It's the feeling you get when you're doing everything right, and nothing is working. And Allah's response will break you.

[Sara @piousdeenn]

In your 20s, you'll feel a strong urge to fix your relationship with Allah, it's not random, it's a sign.

[🌷 @NotesToJannah]

mann i need another Ramadan, I pray I live long enough to witness many more.

[Salahu @salahudeen33]

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but may Allah ﷻ remove sickness, debt, poverty, hardship & failure from your life. Ameen

[dijjerhv🌌 @KhadijaBashirs2]

Did you know? In Islam, you can earn the reward of Hajj and Umrah no visa, no travel just by sitting in remembrance of Allah after Fajr until sunrise, then praying two rak‘ahs.
SubhanAllah 🤍
Repost fisabilillah

[Whemïmor @hy_wemmy]

I will pray for both with good looks.
Thank you…..my Lord is a generous one.

[Nafeesah @Eng_feesah]

Whatever you do please observe your 5 daily salat, read the Qur’an even if its 1 page. This does a whole lot to your mind, soul and peace.

[Dee! @Khadee__jatu]

I pray I marry into a family filled with love. It’s so important to me to have loving in-laws, I want to marry into a family where I feel like they are my second parents and siblings.

[Haleema Abubakar🌹 @Miss_Halimatu]

Retweet fissabillilah 👏👏

[chubu @astrohyfa]

God please allow us to marry into a good family with sensible in-laws

[Precious Bernard(Benin Chef👩🏽‍🍳) @ptreatshaven]

My friend recently started a 9-5 and her man has been funding her Chowdeck wallet so that she doesn’t worry about lunch.
You can’t teach this romance thing.🥹

[Joice🤍🇧🇪 @Joiceoflagos]

After your menstruation, get scent leaf (a handful), cloves, garlic, cinnamon

How to prepare:
Wash all the ingredients
Put them in a pot
Boil for about 30 minutes
Then allow to cool

Drink first thing in the morning and last thing at night for 5 days

If you’re an ulcer patient, sit on it instead

Come and thank me later 🥰

[ummi_kayyy @_ummikayyy]

The moment I’ll be laid inside my grave and everyone leavessssss🥹😭😭😭

By Allah, May we die as true believers of Islam.