Sam Jones

Scoffing my face to be a fat cat in the city.

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

6am mountain retreat at Moganshan, 1 brit, 7 italians

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

34% of you for the first task and a meagre 33 runners for the latter are you sure

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

You had two jobs this weekend. To prevent a bigoted parade of racists from gaining political leverage and to run Wanborough beer race

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

I'm so annoyed at you all.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

The shock of someone taking the last roast potato without any prior warning

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

The emergence of the Dail Mail as the go-to online paper has had a tragic impact on the radicalisation of UK politics #BurqasandBeyonce

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

What kind of sick twisted cunt schedules an exam for 8.30am Saturday morning

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

Im finding it hard to evaluate this England squad. Mainly because i stopped following football the day i scratched my football manager 08 CD

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

@BlackfordBenjie Benj i would love to see your face but im moving to Shanghai. Back in October, for some deep historical accounts i hope!

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

@BlackfordBenjie prime example of a nanny state taking health and safety way too far

[Benjamin Blackford @BlackfordBenjie]

@samjones04 @OlBoyFizz Last time I went, I got hit in the face by a Korean doing Gangnam Style: Life. Made.

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

@BlackfordBenjie hahaha benji i didn't even go last year! I need you and @OlBoyFizz to come down to ex and show me how its done!

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

The implication being i am most likely spending more time than socially acceptable on Chinese dating apps

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

My phone automatically changed to Chinese because ive typed more than English in the last week.

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

@SUmrigar Shit man, thats a big loss. Good job you're moving to Swindon or somewhere to do your masters and i'm going bold

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

Had my hangover poo in North Korea's Demilitarised Zone today #KimJongPoo #TotalitarianToiletTweet

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

@WackoBacco been adding a conspicuous number of girls born '99 it appears Bacco #notlongtilyoubreakintothenaughties #iseeyou

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

@davidlyons92 haha i have no way of telling they dont really vary in the looks department but im willing to take the risk #likeanygoodpriest

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

Spent today at a shrine where young Taiwanese girls pray for a male companion to be delivered to them #templecrasher #broodybuddhistbitches

[Sam Jones @samjones04]

It makes sonic's lid look like a tame comb-over