sammay

[sammay @sammym06]

maintenance man moved all my ice cream from the freezer to the fridge brutha let me pick ya brain #weeeeeeeeee

[sammay @sammym06]

@MaraMcandrews except the holocaust page

[sammay @sammym06]

@Elifbenad millie bobby brown

[sammay @sammym06]

@clareclairecla not fa me and dis skinny cooch

[sammay @sammym06]

just got the call. can’t believe it. i’m gonna be the first personality hire on Love Island USA

[sammay @sammym06]

@muheediva01 pizza beans

[sammay @sammym06]

@amyy_claire pope in town

[sammay @sammym06]

microplastic this microplastic that bro i am fricken macroplasticing. i’m fucken dremeling shit out at work and then licking my hands clean before lunch . when my body turns full plastic you’re never gonna stop me unless you put me in a microwave . don’t. do that

[sammay @sammym06]

@spoiltkate_ my president donald

[sammay @sammym06]

@kumxem sam

[sammay @sammym06]

@Tianababyyyy_ bob burger i’m gonna eat so many burger yum yum yum

[sammay @sammym06]

@Kristinartz was giving my dog, foie gras, a bath during a storm once. safe to say i don’t have a dog anymore #lightningstrike #lightingtookmydogaway #ripfoiegras

[sammay @sammym06]

@t_sadiity equal parts lime and lemon juice and a little tiny bit of piss. like only a drop or two. and not anyone’s dirty piss but like just a little bit of your own. i know it sounds crazy but it’s super healthy and it hits your throat the same way those beautiful beautiful bubbles do

[sammay @sammym06]

@wormpuller i ate them all yesterday and they banned me from buying more at the walgreens they have my picture printed calling me the Tums Consumer

[sammay @sammym06]

@skanayaneko sharq

[sammay @sammym06]

@worstmichael nice

[sammay @sammym06]

my top 5 favorite bars in the united states:

1. Trinity, Milwaukee WI

2. Morgan Wallen’s This Bar, Nashville TN

3. Garage, Milwaukee WI

4. Kid Rock’s Big Honky Tonk, Nashville TN

5. Red White and Blue, Milwaukee WI

Honorable Mention: Red Rock Saloon, Milwaukee WI

[sammay @sammym06]

@omgsidewalks everleigh, marleigh, ashleigh, haileigh

[sammay @sammym06]

@dumbassghoul one time he noogied me so hard he started a friction fire on my head

[sammay @sammym06]

@rahsh33m fart season