Sam

Heinz ketchup enthusiast. Still standing, still stupid.
Drink beer & be nice. Selfish & stingy. Insatiable fucking bitch. Wiener Queen of RF.

[Sam @samolsenn]

This gem just got sent to me @leestarr4 @gator_hater77

[Sam @samolsenn]

Half the whole relationship is eating ass

[Sam @samolsenn]

Happy birthday @bearflash !!!!! We love you!!!!

[Sam @samolsenn]

Anything you put in your mouth you can also put in your butt

[Sam @samolsenn]

I would do unspeakable things for a busch light lime

[Sam @samolsenn]

@leestarr4 @gator_hater77 We threw some maple wieners on the roller at the shop one morning and used syrup as our condiment, so fucking good

[Sam @samolsenn]

"it's bad when I'm driving at night"
"do you do a lot of that?"
"yeah when it's dark "

[Sam @samolsenn]

Bushed up at 108

[Sam @samolsenn]

"turn your rape whistle into a slut whistle"

[Sam @samolsenn]

Make Emma's gay again!

[Sam @samolsenn]

Some of my favorite pages of the dictionary

[Sam @samolsenn]

I don't want to be a buckaroo anymore!

[Sam @samolsenn]

@leestarr4 Thank you baby!! ❤️❤️

[Sam @samolsenn]

@leestarr4 Pat looks hot

[Sam @samolsenn]

Third on my search history btw

[Sam @samolsenn]

@leestarr4 @gator_hater77 Kinda freaky but I don't have much else going on so why not

[Sam @samolsenn]

Ain't nobody love me like the gun club guys love me

[Sam @samolsenn]

I know people who can rip 14 tequila shots in a five hour period and then get up and go to work at 8am this shit is so weak I'm sorry

[Breaking911 @Breaking911]

A California nurse who was served at least 14 tequila shots in under nine hours on a Carnival cruise ship has been awarded $300,000 by a federal jury.