Ndori

VIII • XIII

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Someone from HR just asked if I can "quickly" transfer all their files from their old laptop to their new one.

I said sure. Told them it'll take about 4 hours because of the data transfer speed and verification process.

Reality? It takes 45 minutes. I run a script, it copies everything, done.

But I learned a long time ago: never tell people how easy something is.

Because if they know it's easy, they'll ask you to do it all the time. For everyone. Forever.

So I tell them it's 4 hours. They say "oh wow, okay, whenever you have time."

Then I do it in 45 minutes, but I don't tell them it's done until hour 3.

They think I dropped everything to help them. They're grateful. They tell their manager I went "above and beyond."

Meanwhile, I spent 2 hours watching YouTube and eating snacks.

The secret to good customer service isn't speed. It's managing expectations so you always exceed them.

Under-promise, over-deliver. Corporate 101.

Except I'm not really over-delivering. I'm just lying about the timeline.

But tomato, tomahto.

[Paul Snively @JustDeezGuy]

Phil Williams. My boss’ boss at Apple. Surfer dude, feet on his desk. We guys asked each other over lunch “What does Phil do all day?”

Then Phil left.

“Oh.”

I’m sorry, Phil.

[The Culturist @the_culturist_]

A common joke among Parisians is that the best view of Paris is from the Montparnasse Tower — because it's the only place in Paris where you can't see the Montparnasse Tower...

[Ndori @samsonus]

@Mstephano_ Jo home be timo One UI software update kodwa. Tek tweta!

[Bill Ables, Esq. @lawyer_humor]

There is a disturbing trend of young lawyers trying to be concise.

A 2nd-year drafted an executive summary for a banking client using bullet points and plain English.

She proudly stated that she reduced a 50-page compliance memo into a 2-page brief.

I asked her if she thought the client was paying $950 an hour for brevity.

She muttered something about respecting the CEO's time.

I explained that clients don't pay us to solve their problems quickly.

They pay us to make their problems look so incomprehensible that only we can solve them.

I made her rewrite the summary using dense, impenetrable legalese.

It took her 12 hours to bury the conclusion on page 42.

The client called me the next morning to thank us for our incredibly thorough analysis.

Clarity is a customer service concept.

We are in the business of intellectual intimidation.

[Sunny Bindra @sunnysunwords]

Someday we’ll be back here.
Via @baldwhiner

[Work Chronicles @_workchronicles]

(comic) Just do it

[𝜗℘ @22lacei]

The kindest thing literature does is remind you that your peculiar little feelings have always existed. Someone, in some century, was equally confused by love, bored by society, tired of performing, and hungry for meaning.

[MisoSilly @SeiYoung83]

I love hearing opinions about other cultures from people who’ve never left their own area codes.

[Ty Ngachira @anto_ty]

Advice from their managers.

This app incentivices reaction to not the creation of things

An audience that prides itself on 'humbling' people

This app is basically revenge of the nerds. The popular kid needs an established hierarchy, and this is the rule of the mob

[RedAlways @PATRIOT2117]

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and shouts, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers! I’ll put down $500 to anyone who can drink 10 pints back-to-back!”

The entire pub goes silent.
Nobody moves.

Then one Irishman quietly stands up, and walks straight out the door.

About 30 minutes later, he returns, taps the Texan on the shoulder, and asks, “That bet still good?”

“Sure is!” the Texan says.

The bartender lines up ten pints — full glasses from one end of the bar to the other.

Without a blink, the Irishman downs all 10 pints in a row and slams the last one down like a champion.

The bar ERUPTS with cheers.
The Texan pays the $500 — totally stunned.

He asks, “If you don’t mind me askin’, where’d you run off to for that half hour?”

The Irishman grins, “Oh, I just popped down to the pub around the corner to see if I could do it first.”

[🥷 @_iamhabeeb]

what keeps me going is the delusional belief that it will work out.

[WHO Kenya @WHOKenya]

At the Hamisi PEN-Plus clinic in #Vihiga, most of the 800+ patients live with sickle cell disease, getting diagnosis, free medicines and follow-up that once meant travelling hundreds of kilometres.
"They take care of my son," says Christine, a community health promoter whose son lives with the condition.
#WorldSickleCellDay #worldsicklecellday #SickleCellDisease

[Marcus Olang' @marcusolang]

"We are Africa and Africa is our business."
Until your job requires you to show up and vote.
Then you're nowhere to be found.
What a business.

[Aston Villa @AVFCOfficial]

Aston Villa is delighted to announce that our 2026/27 Premier League fixtures will consist of playing each team home and away.

[Zlatan Ibrahimović @Ibra_official]

The studio will never forget

[Strathmore CIPIT @StrathCIPIT]

How does the data protection landscape in Africa look today? Where are we, and where are the gaps?🤔

We mapped it. Yes, all 54 countries 🤩

View dashboard👉🏽https://t.co/QY82w3qk6X
Watch video on the mapping as of May 2025: https://t.co/hL3YBVe4io

[𝔇𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 ℭ𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢 @throatholding]

Fuck nudes, show them your impeccable manners.

[Zone01 Kisumu @Zone01Kisumu]

What does it take to break into tech and grow into a Project Management role? In our next podcast, @MissOwino sits down with Josephine Opondo who has successfully transitioned from learner to PM.

📅 Pod drops Mon, 22nd June 2026!

Catch it here https://t.co/KQpgJ3tTAO

[Sun Tzu @ItsChanzu]

Just Checked her resume dawg! 🫢

She's been at NYT, Merrill Lynch,Goldman Sachs, Credit Suisse, Bloomberg , Meta , Netflix and now Open Ai.

Hio sio kichele ,hio ni Mwea Tebere yote 👏