Sam Kelly

[Walmart Canada Gaming @WalmartCAGaming]

Can you guess the game? 🎮🤔

[Ben Kelly @bkelly0303]

Me in my mom’s doorway at 7 am to tell her I missed the bus

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

Just watched a pot boil. Didn’t take that long.

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

Somebody tell TED to shut the fuck up

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

@Zachary03765455 Delete this.

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

My brain when I can sleep in the next day: let’s go to bed before 10 :)

My brain when I have to wake up at 6: stay up late! down with the system!

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

Working retail on Black Friday really is the perfect motivation to finish college huh

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

My quality of life has been steadily decreasing ever since Flappy Bird was deleted from the App Store

[Glenn (🎶 I read the news today, oh boy! 🎶) @Glenn25762137]

@MichaelKeaton @daffi515 A reminder to PA voters: if you received a mail-in ballot, but are voting in person you must surrender your mail-in ballot (including all paperwork that came with it) at your polling location to be able to vote.
Please retweet to anyone voting in PA.

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

That debate was the worst thing I've ever seen & I was in The Star Wars Holiday Special.

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

Thinking about Anne Hathaway as Catwoman

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

@AhliVar This is ominous

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

Folks it’s dry hands season 🍁

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

@Frannythemanny No my prealgebra teacher said we wouldn’t have calculators in our pockets 24/7 so this must be wrong

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

I hate hanging out with kids. One of them hooked me in the back of the head and the others started giggling. Bitch I have a hook in my brain

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

@Frannythemanny This could’ve stayed in the drafts

[Sam Kelly @samwise_kelly]

@AhliVar Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave