Danny Bradshaw

Into networks and networking. Cynical Optimist, Informed Pessimist, Allergic to idiots. Follow if you have a sense of humour or are capable of self-deprecation.

[Danny Bradshaw @sanctuarydan]

Fantastic! 🤣🤣

[CuriousBritishTelly @CuriousUkTelly]

The Wombles play Motörhead

[Frankie™️🦅 @B7frankH]

An American housewife:
"My husband is a helicopter pilot that does powerline construction and the way my brain still does not trust him to parallel park my car" 😂

[Vince Langman @LangmanVince]

This is the greatest "Redneck" video I've ever seen! 👏😂

[Paul Rees. ex Rucksack. @HannahIamthest1]

Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: "You stay here. I'll go on a head."

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass".

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion .

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir! Only one carrion allowed per passenger."

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!"

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron". The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

🤣🤣🤣

[Katie Hopkins @KTHopkins]

Genuine question to those who want Kanye banned from the UK

What makes YOU the arbiter of what OTHER people choose to hear?

Why do you think you get to decide for others?

Want to go: buy a ticket
Don’t want to go: Don’t

Genuine answers only please.

[Danny Bradshaw @sanctuarydan]

@KTHopkins @zarahsultana New kink unlocked 😳🤣🤣

[Danny Bradshaw @sanctuarydan]

@Mericamemed So so good. Bravo!

[Danny Bradshaw @sanctuarydan]

Absolutely superb!

[MERICA MEMED @Mericamemed]

Shawty playing the shaboingboing

[David Atherton @daveatherton]

My trip down memory lane with adverts seem popular. This series of Spitfire beer ads would never make to the TV, they are so politically incorrect, having a dig at the Germans

"Downed all over Kent, just like the Luftwaffe" & "have the sunbeds. We're going to the bar."

[DJ RENA @djrena_jp]

TOTO - Africa (Turntable remix)

[Climate Warrior🐬 #ClimateJustice🇵🇸🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 @ClimateWarrior7]

In Britain it is illegal to abbreviate the word "Pakistani". You go to prison for it.

This reflects Britain's firm stance against abbreviating things.

[🎶𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘀 ✨ @Old_But_Gold50s]

Ravel's Bolero, but it's played on just one cello...

[Danny Bradshaw @sanctuarydan]

Superb wordsmithery here!👌

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Keith the Apocalypse Bringer is a three-year-old Anglo-Nubian goat in a field in Devon.

Keith should not be underestimated.

Keith has been systematically dismantling the ecosystem since approximately 7am, when he ate a bramble. This is significant because bramble is an invasive scrub species that outcompetes wildflowers, reduces biodiversity, and creates dense monoculture thicket that nothing else can use.

Keith ate it. Keith does this every day. Keith does not charge for this service.

8:15am - Keith ate a thistle. Thistles are also considered invasive scrub in managed pasture. Goldfinches eat thistle seeds, but Keith's grazing will ensure the pasture remains open enough for the ground-nesting birds that can't use dense scrub. Keith has not attended a conservation workshop. Keith arrived at this conclusion by being a goat.

9:00am - Keith dismantled a section of hedge. This was less helpful. Keith does not have a perfect record.

10:30am - Keith escaped the field. He was in the road for eleven minutes. He ate a neighbour's rose. This is not being counted in Keith's environmental impact assessment.

11:00am - Keith was returned to the field. Keith regarded the farmer with the specific expression of an animal that does not recognise the concept of property.

12:00pm - Keith ate more bramble. His digestive system: four stomachs, a rumen full of specialised microorganisms, the ability to extract nutrition from lignified plant matter that would defeat any other animal on this field, is converting scrub vegetation into milk with a fat content of approximately 4.5%. The milk will become cheese. The cheese will be sold at the farm shop. The farm shop is four miles away. The cheese food miles are: four.

3:00pm - Keith produced manure. The manure will grow the grass. The grass will grow the bramble. The bramble will be eaten by Keith.

This system has no inputs.

It has been running since goats were domesticated approximately ten thousand years ago.

Keith is not aware he is saving the planet.

Keith is thinking about whether the fence on the north side has a weak point.

It does. Keith found it at 4:45pm.

Keith got out again.

[Danny Bradshaw @sanctuarydan]

@TinkerCunt_ It won’t heal up so no need to stress mate 😉👍

[Danny Bradshaw @sanctuarydan]

@Croc1892 @LukeEdwardsTele I’m proud to have witness so many ravers having the night of their lives they’ll never remember!

[Kurt Metzger @kurtmetzger]

The Derp w/Kurp podcast has an exciting new sponsor!!

[Danny Bradshaw @sanctuarydan]

Superb piece of prose this. Bravo.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am the lead engineer at https://t.co/4qSBGGFmTs.

We had $78 million to work with.

$70 million went to the domain.

$8 million went to the Super Bowl ad.

 I got the rest.

"The rest" was $500 and a Cloudflare free tier.

This ratio -- 156,000 to 1, marketing to engineering -- is not a bug. It is the business model of the entire artificial intelligence industry in 2026.

You do not need a product. You need a name. Preferably two letters. Preferably letters that made investors lose bladder control in 2024.

I built the website in a weekend. I didn't build it, actually.

I described it to OpenClaw (previosely Moltbook), (previously, reviously Clawdbot) and the AI built it.

We are, after all, an AI company. Using AI to build the website felt appropriate.

The AI charged us nothing. We are charging users $20 a month. This is called "margin."

We have a free tier and a paid tier. The free tier gives you access to a product that doesn't exist. The paid tier gives you access to the same product that doesn't exist, but with more input tokens.

No one has asked "input tokens for what." This is the kind of question that delays launches.

Nobody checked if it worked.

Nobody checked if it scaled.

Nobody checked if it did anything at all.

We were too busy approving the logo.

The logo is a planet with a ring around it. Someone said it looked like the old Saturn car logo. Saturn went bankrupt in 2010. But the logo was free and our design budget went to the domain, so here we are, orbiting a dead brand at $70 million per revolution.

Our product is an "autonomous AI agent" that "organizes work, sends messages, and executes actions across apps."

Which actions. Which apps. At what cost.

In the AI industry, these are called "implementation details." Implementation details are beneath us. We are a vision company. The vision cost $70 million. The implementation cost $500.

The gap between the two is where shareholder value lives.

Our press release promises the agent will "trade stocks, automate workflows, and update your online dating profile."

We are building artificial general intelligence so it can fix your Hinge bio.

This is on the roadmap. The roadmap is longer than the codebase.

Our marketing says you can create an AI agent in 60 seconds. This is technically true. You type a username. You click "generate." You receive a loading spinner. Sixty seconds.

What you do not receive is an AI agent. But the experience of waiting for one is, I'm told, "the product."

Our press release describes a "decentralized network of billions of agents." We used the word "decentralized" because our CEO comes from crypto. In crypto, "decentralized" means "we haven't decided how it works yet." We have not changed the definition.

This is not unique to us.

OpenAI has raised $40 billion. Their product loses money on every user.

Anthropic has raised $15 billion. Their stated goal is to build something they believe might destroy humanity, and investors are fighting to give them more.

Microsoft has committed $80 billion to AI infrastructure this year. Their Copilot product tells people to put glue on pizza. The entire industry is a $300 billion screensaver with a loading spinner.

We fit right in.

Our CEO is the https://t.co/O1AIXWbNAm guy.

He previously spent $700 million to rename a basketball arena and hired Matt Damon to tell America "fortune favors the brave" six months before crypto lost 70% of its value.

He paid for our domain in cryptocurrency. I am told this was "tax efficient." I have learned not to ask follow-up questions about things that are "tax efficient."

He is now pivoting from crypto to AI. In the industry, we don't call this "pivoting." We call it "convergence." Convergence means the last bubble popped so you inflate the next one using the same PowerPoint deck with different nouns.

The Super Bowl ad ran during the fourth quarter. Thirty seconds. It told 130 million Americans to visit our website.

The ad was thirty seconds. That's $266,666 per second. Each second of airtime cost more than our entire engineering budget.

Second fourteen showed the logo. Second fourteen cost more than the website.

They did visit. All of them, apparently, at once.

The website went down.

"Prepared for scale, but not for THIS," our CEO tweeted, adding three fire emojis.

The fire emojis were load-bearing. They were doing more work than our infrastructure. The entire site was hosted on Cloudflare's basic tier, which is designed for food blogs and wedding photographers, not for absorbing the combined curiosity of a nation told to visit a two-letter domain during the biggest television event on earth.

But the crash was, in a way, perfect. It is the most honest thing the AI industry has produced. A $78 million promise that, when 130 million people showed up to collect, returned a loading spinner and the words "please refresh and try again."

Every AI company should adopt this as their mission statement.

The previous owner of https://t.co/4qSBGGFmTs was OpenAI. They used it to redirect to ChatGPT -- a product that exists, built by thousands of engineers who were paid more than $500, running on billions of dollars of compute. We bought the domain from them to redirect to a page that asks you to pick a username.

OpenAI also ran a Super Bowl ad this year. They sold us the domain, then bought ad time in the same broadcast to promote the product they used to host on it.

We are now competing with the company that built the thing we may or may not be reselling. During the same commercial break. On the same channel. For the same audience.

The AI industry is a snake eating its own tail, except the tail cost $70 million and the snake can't stay online.

That's the product. A username. For an AI agent that doesn't exist yet. On a website that couldn't survive its own launch. Sold by a crypto CEO during a crypto winter. Wearing the logo of a bankrupt car company.

Twenty-three percent of Super Bowl ads this year were AI companies. That's 15 out of 66.

In 2000, it was dot-coms. https://t.co/xcdZKv7NgR ran a Super Bowl ad. They went bankrupt nine months later.

Their sock puppet mascot outlived the company. I'm not saying history repeats. I'm saying it rhymes, and the rhyme scheme is expensive.

But none of that matters. What matters is the domain. Two letters. Seventy million dollars. The most expensive thing we own is our name. The least expensive thing we own is everything the name is supposed to represent.

In the AI industry, this is called "brand-first development."

In every other industry, it's called something else.

Anyway, we're hiring.

Backend engineers preferred.

Budget: whatever's left.

[Danny Bradshaw @sanctuarydan]

@gothburz Bravo sir! Bravo.

[𝐆𝐢𝐆𝐢🇺🇸💞 @GiGiTX214]

A day in the life of a project manager…

[𝐿𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝒱 🥀 @V_Lady2024]

I would give everything I have to experience this just one time!