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[Lin Baker @Lin_Baker]

Marriage is sorta like cooking pancakes...
there's nothing wrong with tossing out the 1st one

[🅓🅔🅢🅣🅘🅝🅔🅨🅛🅨🅝🅝 @DestineyLynn]

I regret being nice more often than I regret being mean.

[SonaliRanade @sonaliranade]

The truth is like an onion. U keep peeling it thinking you will find it in the core. Actually, the truth is the sting in your eye.

[OneFunnyMummy @OneFunnyMummy]

The secret to a long marriage is never losing your mutual hatred of everyone else.

[S͠u͠mmer B͠r͠eeze ⚢ @moonlightglow4]

Just because someone believes their opinion on something to be true doesn't mean it is..

[Cup ☕f Joe. @I_Bl33d_Purple]

I don't take orders or suggestions, nice try though.

[Goddess Of Mischief™ @AsgardianRose]

*Writes out a long, heartfelt, handwritten letter and puts it in the mail*

*Gets a response letter 3 months later*

Letter: K

[яicку @iinkedZombie]

Me: can you help with the dishes?
5 [licks dirty silverware] yeah.

[Josh @iwearaonesie]

*quietly tries to open a bag of chips while son walks around looking for his bag of chips*