Sarah Simon

Stressed to the nines

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

My Twitter in 2014: news accounts, economists, journalists

My Twitter in 2019: meme trash

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@samrumpza watching the latest Progressive commercial: what's wrong with cleaning your trash cans?

The transformation is complete.

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@samrumpza We are in receipt of complaints regarding noise emanating from your unit in the form of running, stomping, banging, screaming, etc. loud and during all times of the day and / or after 10:00PM. This is disturbing to neighbors around you thus leading to the complaint(s). Continued

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@samrumpza 👀👀👀👀

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@samrumpza I was told this would be “community property”

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@samrumpza Nice

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@samrumpza @btownmoose We're a very romantic couple, lol

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

Apartment online floorplans be like

Rent from $1,700 to $170,000.*

*Prices may vary.

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

Every article about what you need to do after a loved one passes away:

Losing a loved one can be difficult and overwhelming. [proceeds to tell you twelve new things you have to take care of within the next five days]

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

Claire saved the best game show in history by listening to 40 episodes of a boring guy’s tremendously unfunny podcast. A true American hero

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

Seconds after Tim Anderson's walk-off home run -- @samrumpza: "What do you think of Tim as a potential baby name?"

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@samrumpza

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@frailgale ABBIEGALE GOOB

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

Rose twitter 🤝 MAGA twitter
Lori Lightfoot rumors

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@krantz_m Not gonna lie, I’ve never seen a Twitter thread that’s made me this livid.

[Grandace @kendence]

Somebody said it’s whiter than Newfields’ core audience outside and I lost it

[Sam Rumpza @samrumpza]

By the time @sarah_e_simon graduates law school, I’ll be about a quarter of the way to my JD just by helping her study

[Mikael Thalen @MikaelThalen]

A lawyer using Zoom had to let a judge know that he wasn’t a cat after inadvertently activating a face filter

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@samrumpza 🥰🥰😍😍

[Sarah Simon @sarah_e_simon]

@samrumpza Hyperion - Dan Simmons