Sarcasm Bitch

follow me cause i dont give a fuck. sorry i do give many fucks. please follow and retweet. #sarcasm #alldaynigga

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

Nothing is more cruel than posting pizza pictures at 2:00 am in morning. So retweet this.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

If you accidentally like a post when you are 45 weeks deep, just own upto it. Like two. Three. Sneak into their house. Kidnap their dog!

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

*New year resolution*

I know im pretty cool.

But i wanna get cooler.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

*chatting an interesting person*

Im happy

*thuddd*
*phone falls at my face*

Fuccckkkk

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

In the end, just call her bitch.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

If i'd have to run to save my life, that would be my last day.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

When you order clothes and everything looks great and you dont have to return anything.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

january is the monday of the months.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

Im tired of being tired.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

When you're shorter than bae but horny af https://t.co/2iaLB70lVu

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

I'm just one step away from being rich! All I need now is money.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Yoda.

Yoda who.

Yoda one I love, Yoda one I need.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

When someone calls me bitch.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

Life goals 😎

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

I need a boyfriend 😭😭

No actually I need 5 million dollars in cash.

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

Teacher: "What's something that you need, that you can't see or feel?"

Normal person: "Air"

Me: "Wi-fi"

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

I was happy then holidays got over 😪

[Sarcasm Bitch @sarcasmbeyoch]

Get well soon Cathy.