Kelly

with great power comes great respunsibility

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

Think it’s time to return to twitter dot com (formerly) so I can use it as an online graveyard for the one liners I think of when no one else is around to hear them and then I can post them here so no one else will hear them either.

[Carey O'Donnell @ecareyo]

In season 4 of Stranger Things, the kids are all 34 and live in Harrisburg, PA

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

Making a Halloween playlist and most of it is Oingo Boing and @dannyelfman scores. He is the Mariah Carey of Halloween playlists.

[emilie (taylor’s version) @rallythetroupe]

“NOTHING IS REAL. WERE JUST SPINNING THROUGH THE VOID.” - @savedby_thekell

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

I noticed my bagels were pre-sliced this morning so I said “nice, the less work I have to do, the better” and then immediately sang the bass intro to Tame Impala’s The Less I Know The Better. I should start going back to therapy again.

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

Let’s be real, 50% of the reason I have a Costco membership is for the pizza.

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

What’s it like being a highly stressed small business owner with ADHD? Well for starters I just put my face wash in my hair in the shower, so I got that going for me.

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

I just awoke from a dream where it was implied that Jesus rose from the dead by drinking a can of ice cold ginger ale. Have at it dream analysts.

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

@GonzotheGreat @KermitTheFrog @MissPiggy @DisneyD23 @IAMKEVBISH @FozzieBear I don't know who promised that lady margaritas at the midnight buffet, but legally it wasn't me or anyone associated with Rat Tours, Limited. #D23MuppetMayhem

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

@rallythetroupe @meghanbaldwin @j_kittykatz

[Georgia Hardstark @GHardstark]

SEPARATE CHURCH AND BACHELOR.

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

I’m blaming all of 2020 on the fact that we had started out the year with #buttergritty

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

Cooking: meh
Cooking while listening to Daft Punk’s Tron soundtrack: 😗🤌

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

“Oh tonight is the Christmas star!” -@meghanbaldwin
“Oh you mean the Ariana Grande movie??” -@rallythetroupe
“No the one in the fucking sky” -me
#dumbbitchdecember

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

If you ate a hot dog from the Spot, you don’t need to worry about what’s in the vaccine

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

If tomatoes are a fruit and peppers are berries, salsa is just a fruit salad.

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

I’m 2 months away from 30 and I’ve finally got a skincare routine. If I stay on this trajectory, it’s about to be over for you bitches

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

You don’t need to brand woodchippers with names like “the intimidator”, knowing it could easily kill me is already scary enough.

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

He did it. That crazy son of a bitch finally did it.

[Mark @markiplier]

I swear if they just send me a whole pallet of green beans...

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

Me trying to figure out what to do now that I won’t have any more #UnusAnnus videos to watch

[Kelly @savedby_thekell]

Playing Animal Crossing while playing Animals as Leaders is a full on experience