Manish

I like everything you like.

[Manish @savvystrider]

Ugh, life is sooo hard, amirite?

[Manish @savvystrider]

The easiest way to make friends is to implicate them in a murder so that you bond over your dark shared secret.

[The Nubian Nerd @PensiveWaffle]

#OnMyDriveToWork thinking about a life where I own a Tudor-style home, drive a Volvo, and have 2.5 kids. Nahhhh *turns up trap music*

[Manish @savvystrider]

@realDonaldTrump ?

[Manish @savvystrider]

Trump is creating a new executive order says that for every truth he tells he gets to say two lies.

[Manish @savvystrider]

Thank you @realDonaldTrump for keeping America safe by signing executive orders you either haven't read or don't understand

[Manish @savvystrider]

Trump is like emails blowing up your inbox that you unsubscribed from but keeps promising these ridiculous deals on shit you don't even want

[Manish @savvystrider]

Trump is if a focus group built a model of stupidity that was struck by lightning, 3D printed, and then then peed on by a Chernobyl survivor

[Manish @savvystrider]

MAYBE ASK THE DRESS WHAT COLOR IT THINKS IT IS

[Manish @savvystrider]

Thugz Mansion. But for white people.

[Manish @savvystrider]

If you get a haircut and no one comments on it, did you still get a haircut?

[Manish @savvystrider]

Eating a rack of ribs. Mumbling, "baby hungry, need meat." Good day.

[Manish @savvystrider]

I live in fear of who can smell my boner.

[Manish @savvystrider]

I hate having to "try" new things. Why can't they already be good?

[Manish @savvystrider]

Yawn like a lion. Pee everywhere to mark your territory. Live like a king.

[Manish @savvystrider]

Almost searched "hot mormons" on google but then realized I'm at work lol MONDAYS!

[Manish @savvystrider]

Home is where you can lay your head at night and comfortably masturbate away the day.

[Manish @savvystrider]

Someone doesn't like you. Deal with it.

[Manish @savvystrider]

As a kid marriage seemed like it involved a lot of wrestling with your partner.

[Manish @savvystrider]

Should the US add Canada or Puerto Rico as its 51st state? Find out in the funniest @TouristsPodcast episode yet! https://t.co/fXo2WgBn2T