sawyer

[Sarah Colonna @sarahcolonna]

Alert: there's something on the Food Network right now that's isn't "Chopped." Run for cover.

[Chelsea Handler @chelseahandler]

Chunk and I will be on the @joshwolfshow tonight 11/10c on CMT #JoshWolfShow

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(314): I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college…

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(973): Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.

[Sarah Colonna @sarahcolonna]

"I don't think I've ever even touched a cat"-@JonRyan9 on me wanting a pet. (Pls save your pussy jokes thanks).

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

#tfln

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(+44): Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

#tfln

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(612): should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(630): I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(801): No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything

[Rolling Stone @RollingStone]

Hear Kurt Cobain's chilling, unreleased cover of the Beatles' "And I Love Her" http://t.co/nUGvCvcbeE

[Sarah Colonna @sarahcolonna]

I love this. https://t.co/JBdm0XQTks

[Sarah Colonna @sarahcolonna]

If you want me to sign your copy of my book, email [email protected] for address to send to me! http://t.co/YeD8OsX6R4

[Sarah Colonna @sarahcolonna]

It's true https://t.co/ZVceTYpYVi

[Chelsea Handler @chelseahandler]

I can't imagine where he learned this from. https://t.co/D91w9SIEBY

[Sarah Colonna @sarahcolonna]

Communal seating in restaurants would probably be more fun if I liked people.