saylore tweets

[WH @hastifliche]

my grandma: oh you're so handsome and tall now but i remember when you were barely knee-height, with those big chubby cheeks 😊
me [drawing my sword]: You forget yourself, crone.

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

"How these randoms keep getting jobs? ... Ain't 32 motherf--kers better than me" 😳

Cam Newton announced he will be throwing at Auburn's Pro Day on Tuesday

(via @CameronNewton)

[Lea (Nine Muses) @shopninemuses]

Catholic people staring at you every year on some random Wednesday in February

[Shannonnn sharpes Burner (PARODY Account) @shannonsharpeee]

This man Patrick mahomes was so wasted bro gave the fan the Super Bowl trophy 😭💀

[billiam @BillRatchet]

jesus died so i could get this best buy gift card

[Chris McClain @macwfnz]

Yeah the team went 15-1. Wonder if it had anything to do with this guy having 45 total TDs?

[Karl Sharro @KarlreMarks]

First time the USA leaves a Middle Eastern country so quickly

[TPS @TotalProSports]

God every time Deshaun Watson points to the sky after a touchdown.

[space wizard @space__wizard]

these people should definitely be paying taxes lmao

[taking my plushies to the end of the world party @2femcel2furious]

her: wow, im so wet. do you want to have sex

me, drunkenly pulling out a sword: you never should have come here

[Patrick Allen @RPatrickAllen]

BREAKING: At 3:06 AM, Arrowhead Stadium security found a trespasser wandering around the field. The man appeared to be extremely confused & told security he was "looking for Travis Kelce."

The man, Jalen Ramsey, a CB for the LA Rams, was told the game was over and to go home.

[billiam @BillRatchet]

the final day has come..ladies and gentlemen..5.5 incredible years without missing a single thursday (until i just got covid). i figured we might as well do one final send off to sadly end the tradition. thank you to teddy, one of the funniest souls ever and may he rest in peace.

[billiam @BillRatchet]

i know it's friday but ima start a thread where i tweet this every thursday from now on https://t.co/PbbejQEBGl

[PFF @PFF]

Christian McCaffrey and Robbie Anderson to DJ Moore still stuck in Carolina

[Queso @djbitchtits]

I Stand With Big Tobacco🚬💯

[BestOfShirou @HeavensHero]

BRO SAID "PK FIRE" I CAN’T DO THIS MAN 😭

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @ijustbluemyself]

🚫🇬🇧 Repost if your account is not a safe place for British "people"🇬🇧🚫