susie me

hilarious tweets from a female stunna

[susie me @schmankdatank]

When you’re being mean to me this is who you’re being mean to that’s right I have a gun

[morganily 🩵 @lovelee_philly]

keep thinking of this onion article

[JP @jpbrammer]

the phrase "lipstick on a pig" has always inspired a deep sadness in me. I think of the pig, looking forward to her big night out, and I bring myself to the verge of tears.

[April Clark @autogynefiles]

(on a first date) Can we please just try to have a good night

[susie me @schmankdatank]

Zanzibar by Billy Joel

[Rachel Karten @milkkarten]

i interviewed marketers about their ai-obsessed bosses

[Thomas White @len0killer]

David Spade should have been buried with Chris Farley like a pharaoh’s concubine

[susie me @schmankdatank]

Last night I was lucid dreaming and realized I could do anything I wanted in my dream so I went to the movies!

[hayden palantir @heaven_toniight]

stops me in my tracks every time and reminds me time is finite.. its beautiful

[susie me @schmankdatank]

Any sentence now that says “it’s not just ___… it’s ___” is written by ChatGPT

[susie me @schmankdatank]

@swiftlycline That is famously an introverted twirl

[Brunette @mimizima_]

Being at work is like being in a horror movie where everyone loves AI

[susie me @schmankdatank]

All healed up! Who wants to talk on the phone?

[susie me @schmankdatank]

Going into a spiritually induced coma until I’m healed. Good bye

[GiGi @geneverwhat]

Why can’t they just have a violent bachelorette

[Pierre L’Fauex @LFauexProd]

White people be like I called the city and they said there's nothing they can do for the squirrel

[susie me @schmankdatank]

I’ve never dated a bad singer. I hope when I die they form a barbershop quartet

[susie me @schmankdatank]

#NewProfilePic

[susie me @schmankdatank]

I’ve had a difficult year so far but at least there is always Angels by Denis Johnson

[susie me @schmankdatank]

Reading old texts like they’re Old Texts

[Cincinnati Parks @CincyParks]

A Blue Heron was spotted in Burnet Woods the other day enjoying the last bits of snow!

[susie me @schmankdatank]

Receiving a simple question mark in response to images of my butthole that my doctor asked me to send kindaaaa feels like receiving the laughing emoji in response to a nude