Jøhn Døe

white in shining armour 🐴🍲

[Brian Carniello 🇺🇸 @BrianCarniello1]

#TrumpIsAFailedPresident

[Annie @AnnieForTruth]

That says it all!

[ali @probablyalissa]

Literally

[Aidan Simardone @AidanSimardone]

Just got off the phone with Mitch McConnell, he is doing great!

[trash jones @jzux]

if I landed a plane on my own after my teacher killed himself in front of me and they used HIS photo in the news I would find his body and throw it out another plane

[Praise @tufpraise]

Hating Nazi's is like the best thing to teach a kid.

[🍁☘️Canadian Fletchy 🇨🇦 @Darth_Pingu]

BREAKING: They've changed the name

[Patrick Howley @HowleyReporter]

That was a pre-existing condition

[Big Red Celt @BigRedCeltTT]

Me: What are they saying about Mitch McConnell’s medical condition?

“He is brain dead.”

Me: Right. But what are they saying about his medical condition?

[Adam Mockler @adammocklerr]

17 Republicans voted NO ON WHAT???

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

It’s the Fourth of July. I’m working at a register at a grocery store.

Customer: “This potato salad is full price.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “It’s the Fourth of July.”

Me: “It is!”

Customer: “So where’s the discount?”

Me: “We don’t have a Fourth of July discount on potato salad, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “It’s a holiday.”

Me: “We have a sale on hot dogs if that helps?”

Customer: “I don’t want hot dogs; I want potato salad. And I want the holiday price.”

Me: “We don’t really have a holiday price for—”

Customer: “Christmas stuff goes on sale at Christmas.”

Me: “That’s… after Christmas, and it’s because they’re trying to clear the stock—”

Customer: “So you’re telling me that on the birthday of the greatest country on earth, you are charging full price for potato salad.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s correct.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager.”

I called my manager over and explained the situation. He listened very carefully, nodded, then turned to her.

Manager: “Ma’am, the Declaration of Independence doesn’t guarantee life, liberty, and the pursuit of discount potato salad. It’s full price today.”

She bought the potato salad. She should have been grateful we were open today to begin with!

[Miley Official @MileyCyrusBz]

250 years ago today, Miley Cyrus founded the United States Of America just so she could party (July 4, 1776).

[madiiiii ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖ @madsdanae]

if you see me double fisting beers and hotdogs on saturday please know I’m celebrating beer and hotdogs and not this black mirror episode of a country

[Zaid Jilani @ZaidJilani]

This you Jim?

[Brycen 🏆 @Brycen2047]

that was quick

[BakerMuse @MuseBaker]

The New York Jets have threatened to play football soon

[☂️ @oleemequivocao]

soy Pablo Picasso y estás viendo Disney Channel