By the time you turn 30 you should have at least one of the following:
1. A drawer full of random cords
2. Tupperware with half the lids
missing
3. Anxiety
4. A collection of plastic bags full
of other plastic bags
5. Sleep deprivation
I was snowboarding for the first time and fell over into a hole while being pulled up the bunny hill by a tow rope. As I was struggling to get up I heard the instructor of a nearby snowboarding class say, “Just don’t be like that girl.” #fitnessfail
It is the period between Christmas and New year. No one knows what day it is. Time doesn't really exist. Can we start drinking at 10am? Why not. Existence is a confusion.
Give my dog an Oscar because she’s been convincingly limping for the past three weeks and after a visit to the vet, tests, and medication we just realized it’s all been a ruse for more pats.